


Liberosis

by krsvno



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tokyo Nationals Arc (Haikyuu!!), Tokyo Training Camp Arc (Haikyuu), Will add more tags as I go, hinata pines, i dont have a beta so bear with me, i’m calling this angst but its lowkey just fluff, mostly - Freeform, oblivious kags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krsvno/pseuds/krsvno
Summary: Kageyama needs to learn to control his emotions and Hinata needs to learn how to make it less apparent he’s in love with him.( Or: Karasuno travels to Tokyo for another training camp... but make it gay angst. )
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 19
Kudos: 106





	1. Control Freak

**Author's Note:**

> Liberosis:  
> n.  
> the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
> i don’t have a beta so read at your own risk (haha). i spent about a month in total working on this and i have finally gotten this to a point i feel comfortable posting so here we are. enjoy!  
> love,  
> kenzie (@krsvno)

_Control_.

The single most important word in Kageyama Tobio's life.

Staying in control is essential to ensure survival. In volleyball, the team that controls the momentum wins. A setter's job is analytical, split-second decision-making in order to control the flow of the ball to best suit the spikers' skills.

Tobio likes to imagine his life in terms of a volleyball being passed on the court. The ideal is a smooth, perfectly-set ball that cuts through the air with careful precision. There's nothing harder for a spiker to hit than a bad toss.

He needs to have control over his life the same way he controls the ball as a setter. Any hint of imperfection- a millisecond too slow, off target by the smallest amount, can cause the ball to get sent flying to the ground, a lost point.

- _Move faster! Jump higher!_ -

Feelings are an unknown variable Tobio has never quite understood. He has a hard time expressing them, and an even harder time communicating them.

Anything that isn't necessary is discarded. It is this mentality that had earned Kageyama the fated nickname, the _King of the Court_.

His inability to properly communicate mixed with his stifling sense of pride, had turned him into a ruthless, emotionless robot. That is a small price to pay in exchange for winning. And Kageyama wants to win.

- _I know my tosses are good!_ -

When feelings get involved, he begins to lose control. And that scares him more than anything else. It had happened once before: a revolt against his tyrannical leadership. His teammates turned on him, and the one thing he loved the most was ripped from his grasp. There is a sense of pride in knowing a spiker is willing to hit your toss, and Kageyama had taken that for granted.

- _I wish I could receive, toss, and spike all by myself._ -

Hinata Shoyo. The boy with the fire in his eyes. To think only a year ago, he had never heard that name. He wasn't prideful the way Kageyama was, but he has never met another person who shared his passion for volleyball that Hinata did.

He was only 162cm, but he dreamed of becoming the ace. He loved to spike, and that unbridled determination combined with his superhuman agility and reflexes, was by itself enough for Tobio's frozen heart to begin to thaw.

But more than that, he was envious. How a player with so little technique or experience could be blessed with such potential, it pissed off the genius king. Hinata gets on Kageyama's nerves like no one else does.

His baseless confidence, his hunger for victory... It all made Tobio want to rip his hair out.

Hinata terrifies him. He is living, breathing chaos in an unusually tiny frame. Whenever he is around, nothing seems to go as it should.

Tobio is a lonely king: he can't afford to rely on anyone or anything. He can't get attached only to watch them leave.

And it seems he has found a team of like-minded players, and for the first time, Kageyama realized what it means to be a part of a team. He doesn't want to lose control like he had in junior high, and be left all alone again.

- _I'm here_.-

The part of Hinata that scares Kageyama the most... The way he has wormed his way into his life, and Kageyama couldn't push him away even if he wanted to. He has become far too attached to the red-haired middle blocker far too quickly. Kageyama just wants to be left alone.

- _As long as I'm here, you're invincible!_ -

Kageyama's eyes snapped open, his breathing uneven and heavy with the weight of Hinata's words. Sure, they had been his words first, but hearing them come from Hinata's lips had a completely different affect on him, though he still had not a clue why.

Once the grogginess of sleep lessened, Kageyama finally registered the fact that he was not alone in his futon. While he was asleep, someone had shifted off their futon and snuggled against Kageyama's back.

Kageyama could feel the warmth of their body through his t-shirt, and his breath hitched. He bit down on his tongue to keep from alerting any of his sleeping teammates, instead shifting slightly in an attempt to escape the intruder and hopefully get back to sleep.

His plan backfired spectacularly.

As he tried to shift away, a soft whine was heard and suddenly there were two small arms wrapping around his stomach and pulling Kageyama flush against their chest once again, but this time in a more intimate position. He instantly felt heat rushing to his cheeks with the humiliation at being used as a glorified teddy bear.

As his teammate snuggled against him, they burrowed their face in the crook of his neck, and Kageyama couldn't help the way his breath hitched. He could feel their every breath against his neck, and there was soft hair tickling his chin.

When Kageyama said he was happy to be a part of a team at long last, this definitely wasn't what he meant. He just wanted to sleep in peace. He had no idea what time it was, but it was so dark in the room that Kageyama deduced it to be much too early to be awake.

As Kageyama attempted to pull his teammate's hands away from him, he recognized the oh-too-familiar smell that now seemed to surround him. _Bubblegum_.

Kageyama only knew one person who still used bubblegum-scented hair shampoo: Hinata. The realization caused an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, and as Kageyama pressed his hand against his chest, he was shocked to find his heart was racing.

 _Stupid, Hinata!!_ Kageyama's head was spinning wildly, and it was making him feel sick. He had felt perfectly normal just moments ago, what was happening to him?

As if to add insult to injury, Hinata shifted in his sleep, nuzzling into Kageyama's neck in a way that reminded him of a small animal, like a baby bird or a cat. The thought made his heart jump, and a word forced itself to the front of his consciousness: _Cute_.

Hinata couldn't be cute. First of all, he was a guy, and second, he was incredibly irritating. But the word kept spinning around his mind, even as Kageyama tried to force it away.

He felt like his heart was going to explode, pounding so rapidly he could hear it in his ears. Blood rushed to his face, no doubt caused by his runaway heartbeat.

He wasn't sure why he was suddenly feeling so sick, maybe he was just a little overheated.

Kageyama tried to shift away from the sleeping Hinata once again, hoping to sneak away to the bathroom to cool off.

But the world seemed to really have it in for Tobio today, because Hinata's arms, which had originally been wrapped around his stomach, slowly slid up his chest, before coming to rest on his pecs.

The feeling of Hinata's fingers traveling up his body caused a ripple of electricity through Kageyama's whole body, and the warmth of his fingers on his chest left Kageyama panting heavily.

He couldn't understand why he was feeling like this. It's just Hinata. His partner, the other half of the weirdo-quick combination. Although, considering Hinata to be 'half' may be too generous: it's more like _30-70_.

Kageyama brought his hand up to his face, only to pull it away in shock at how feverish he felt. His whole body was burning up, the source of the heat originating from where Hinata was still clinging to him. _Dumbass Hinata_ , he thought to himself. He was surrounded by Hinata's childish bubblegum scent, and Kageyama felt like he was suffocating in it.

Hinata was making little sounds as he slept, and once again the despicable c-word came to mind.

It really pissed Kageyama off that he was noticing all these pointless things: like how soft Hinata's hair felt as it tickled his chin. Or the warm, fuzzy feeling of Hinata's body flush against his back. Or the steady rhythm of Hinata's heartbeat that Kageyama could feel against his back. A heartbeat that was worlds slower than his own. Somehow, that pissed him off too.

Kageyama had no idea what could be causing these strange symptoms aside from embarrassment at being forced into this situation.

Kageyama felt his stomach roiling with anger, and he had half a mind to dropkick the tiny spiker into next week. But he realized if he did that, he would have a mopey Hinata following him around like a lost puppy, and that would be far more annoying. So Kageyama decided slowly detaching Hinata from himself was the better option.

After what felt like ages, Kageyama freed himself of Hinata's grasp, having to ignore Hinata's sleepy whines, and the way they sent shivers through his body.

Kageyama sat up, taking a moment to take a few deep breaths. Hinata curled over himself at the loss of Kageyama's body heat, before settling again.

Kageyama clutched a hand to his chest, feeling the erratic beating of his heart beneath his fist. He tried to think back to past illnesses he's had, in an attempt to pinpoint what he seemed to be coming down with, but drew a complete blank.

Hinata sighed slightly in his sleep, his lips parting slightly as if to speak. Oddly, Kageyama found himself drawn to the blissful look on Hinata's face as he slept. He found the strange tingling feeling becoming more intense the longer his eyes studied Hinata's face.

It was then that he wondered if maybe these strange feelings could be from Hinata. Kageyama clicked his tongue at the thought. Hinata didn't look sick in any way, but Kageyama wouldn't be satisfied until he gave the tiny spiker a once-over himself.

Kageyama reached out a hand to gently brush the curls from Hinata's forehead. He paused as Hinata shifted in his sleep, before placing his hand against Hinata's forehead lightly. He was warm, but not nearly as warm as Kageyama felt. He wasn't clammy or flushed the way Kageyama was either.

Kageyama let his fingers linger on Hinata's skin, sliding down from his forehead to follow along his cheek bones, before finally coming to a stop at the edge of his mouth.

Hinata's skin was so much softer than he ever could have imagined, and he wanted to keep touching him. Kageyama tried to convince himself it was out of curiosity and nothing else, as he pressed his palm to Hinata's cheek.

 _God, he is so cute_. Chirped the irritating voice in his head, and Kageyama frowned, squeezing the skin of Hinata's cheek gently. Where were these strange thoughts coming from? He wondered as he squinted, trying to see what about Hinata could be considered even the slightest bit cute.

He has a small face, and his features are very soft as opposed to Tobio's sharp edges and lines. And it's true that Hinata has a quality that reminds him of a small animal: so energetic and needy. When he's constantly begging Kageyama to toss to him, or to let him have a bite of his curry bun (which he then proceeds to stuff the entire bun into his mouth to piss Kageyama off). But he doesn't know if cute is the word he would use to describe Hinata. Maybe _tiny_.

But while Kageyama had been lost in thought, he'd failed to notice that Hinata had started nuzzling his hand.

Kageyama ripped his hand away, his jaw dropping in shock, and he could feel the way his cheeks were burning with embarrassment. What the hell was he doing? Kageyama thought to himself, staring at his hand like it was a foreign object.

Tobio wasn't too stupid not to realize that touching your teammate's face while they're asleep is not only incredibly weird but also creepy as hell. But even while asleep, Hinata had reacted to his touch, and in a way that made Kageyama's heart race faster than when he successfully lands a service ace. And he didn't like the implications of that.

The urge to slap Hinata for being so damn _clingy_ caused his fingers to twitch, so Kageyama struggled to his feet, his head spinning. So Hinata wasn't sick, but it still didn't explain Kageyama's strange behavior.

Kageyama snuck out of the room, being cautious as not to step on any of his sleeping teammates as he did.

The hallway seemed much cooler than the room he had just exited, and it felt heavenly as Kageyama walked down the hall towards the bathroom he vaguely remembered was down the hall.

He turned on the faucet, and shoved his entire head beneath the stream, letting the freezing cold water run down his face, his neck, soaking into his hair. Tobio stayed like that for a while, waiting for his heart to return to a rhythm that could be considered normal.

When he finally straightened up, his vision blurred from the droplets sticking to his eyelashes, his face was still a flushed pink color, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

His neck was still warm and tingly where Hinata had been nuzzling him, but upon inspection, there was no external indication there was anything wrong.

His reflection was quite scary. His eyes looked sunken from lack of sleep, and he was still flushed with color and looking a little too much like a serial killer.

Kageyama tried to remember if he had come into contact with any sick people recently, but came up blank. It was winter, but he always made sure to wear the proper clothing to keep himself from getting sick.

He couldn't afford for anything to keep him from playing at 100%, especially with Nationals approaching in a month.

"I'm gonna kill him." Tobio hissed at his reflection, watching his eyes grow cold, a perfect reflection of his frustration.

So maybe Hinata wasn't the reason he was sick, but he might as well be. If he wasn't so _persistent_ all the time. If he didn't beg Kageyama to toss for him constantly, maybe he wouldn't feel like this.

Kageyama rubbed his face, before stepping away from the mirror. Well, if he wasn't going to sleep, he might as well get some extra practice in. There was no use just laying around.

Kageyama left the bathroom, turning back towards the room where his team would be fast asleep. He needed to change clothes, and find his extra volleyball he had brought from home.

Karasuno had traveled to Tokyo to play practice games with the Fukurodani Academy Group before, but this was different in that they would be there for a whole week. This camp is their last chance to improve before Nationals early next year- their last chance to play Nekoma in an official match with the third-years.

Kageyama changed his clothes quickly, before pulling his volleyball from his bag and sneaking once again out into the hallway. He knew the gymnasiums would all be locked at this time, and he knows just how much trouble he could get into for breaking in without permission, so Kageyama settles for practicing outside.

It's not much different than when Hinata and Kageyama would practice passes outside before morning practices.

Tobio stopped abruptly, acutely aware of the fact that he was thinking of Hinata. But in reality, he had been thinking of volleyball, and when thinking about volleyball it's obvious Hinata would come up, so it's allowed, he decides.

The midnight air was perfectly still as Tobio stepped through the door out onto the school grounds. No wind or weather of any kind. Perfect weather for an early-morning practice. His lips slipped into a satisfied smile, his muscles tensing in anticipation.

Tobio loves volleyball. He loves being a setter, loves the feeling when the ball leaves his hands, and knowing it is a perfect toss. He loves the thrill of tossing and knowing someone is there to receive it.

He especially loves tossing and knowing Hinata is already waiting there, and the sound as the ball meets Hinata's hand, and the feeling of superiority that comes when the opponent is frozen in shock because _yes, they just did that._

He loves watching Hinata look down at his own hand in awe, and then turning to Kageyama with this huge dopey grin on his face that just oozes pure happiness and says _toss to me again!_

Tobio absolutely loves tossing to Hinata.

He blinked, as he realized he had stopped walking at some point while he was lost in thought. How long had he been standing there?

Kageyama bounced the ball in his hands against the cement, deciding this was as good a place as any to start practicing.

He started with lonely passing drills, that he definitely hadn't seen Hinata doing one day and has started practicing whenever he has downtime because there's no way in hell he could ever let Hinata be better at practicing alone than he is. He also isn't angry that Hinata had created something actually _useable_ despite how stupid he is.

Kageyama realized on his third rep, that his thoughts had steadily drifted once again to the red-haired spiker, when he was supposed to be thinking about volleyball. This was getting _really_ annoying.

—

Sugawara Koshi was the first to wake up that morning.

At least that's what he thought when his eyes fluttered open to a silent room, the sun barely beginning to rise outside the small window on the other side of the room, leaving the room shrouded in darkness.

Suga had never been the energetic type, but after overhearing a conversation between Coach Nekomata of Nekoma and Coach Ukai about switching up the starting roster in today's matches, Suga couldn't sit still, much less sleep.

He sat up, a happy smile spreading across his face before he could stop it. The smile faltered when his sleepy eyes adjusted to the morning light and noticed Hinata, sprawled out in every direction like a starfish, on Kageyama's futon.

And Kageyama was nowhere to be seen.

The night before, Suga had been the last to turn in for the night, having stayed late in the gym to burn off some of that excited energy he had developed. By the time he returned after finally eating and bathing, all of his teammates were already sleeping peacefully.

He had been lost in his own thoughts so he had almost missed it, but his parental instincts had kicked in at just the right moment, and caught the 'delinquent' first-year duo sharing a futon- Hinata snuggling into Kageyama's side, both of them fast asleep.

Suga nearly wept tears of joy as he looked over the scene. He knew Daichi wouldn't approve of this, but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him.

Seeing them like this wasn't surprising, not in the least. Anyone within a two-mile radius could sense the romantic tension between the setter and the middle-blocker. Why else would they constantly bicker amongst themselves the way they do?

Allowing those two to place their futons next to each was a ticking time bomb, and Suga had expected this to happen eventually, knowing full well how clingy Hinata can be in his sleep.

What Suga never expected, is that he would see such a peaceful look on Kageyama's face. Kageyama has a cold exterior, and seeing him without that characteristic scowl made Suga so proud of how far his kouhai has come.

But now Kageyama was nowhere to be seen, and Suga felt a twinge of disappointment the pair weren't still together, but he figured this was to be expected. Kageyama won't just magically become an affectionate person overnight. The shock of waking up next to Hinata was probably a little overwhelming for him, Suga thought to himself as he pulled himself to his feet.

As vice-captain he probably should wake Daichi, but Suga just snickered as he snuck past Daichi's snoring figure. He'll handle this himself.

Suga changed clothes quickly, making sure not to disturb his sleeping teammates, before leaving the room.

Suga tried the bathroom first, but found it (not surprisingly) empty. It was still quite early, too early for Kageyama to be in the dining area, and Suga sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he headed toward the gymnasium.

Daichi would not be happy to learn Kageyama had spent all night practicing. A rather malicious thought crept into Suga's head: _If Kageyama's too tired to play, you will get to play more_... But Suga pushed those thoughts away.

Suga wants to play, but not at the expense of his kouhai. He'll earn his spot on the court, fair and square. For now, he needed to find Tired-yama.

Suga was fumbling with his scarf when he nearly tripped over Kageyama. Literally.

He had managed to fall asleep sitting up, leaning against the wall next to the vending machine. There was an abandoned milk carton next to him, and a volleyball on his lap, evidence to Suga's 'up all night practicing' theory.

Suga frowned as he crouched down in front of him. The peaceful look from the night before was gone, and had been replaced with an angry frown. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he seemed to be having a bad dream.

Being Karasuno's second-choice setter, Suga has become incredible at observing things from an outside perspective both on and off the court. He has noticed how strangely Kageyama has been acting lately. He seemed rather unstable, and Suga could easily guess why.

Suga sees the way Kageyama looks at Hinata, even though Kageyama might not even realize it himself. But it's not his place to meddle in the love affairs between his teammates. So instead he reached out a hand, planting it on Kageyama's shoulder to gently shake him awake.

Kageyama awoke with a start, sucking in a sharp breath. The volleyball that had been in his lap, fell and began rolling across the floor.

His eyes were glossed over with sleep, so it took him a few seconds to recognize Suga in front of him. He looked around, slowly remembering where he was, before turning back to the third year's warm smile.

"I... I fell asleep?"

"You're lucky it was me who found you and not Daichi." Suga teased, and Kageyama just brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"S... Sorry."

"How long have you been out here?" Suga's gaze turned serious, and Kageyama could almost hear the unspoken threat in his eyes: _I will tell Daichi unless you cooperate._

Kageyama just shrugged, because in reality he didn't know. He didn't bring his phone with him when he left the room last night, and he had no idea how much time had passed. Probably a few hours, if he had to guess.

"Couldn't sleep." Suga stood, holding out a hand for Kageyama to take. He knew his kouhai's excuse was a lie, but he decided to play along for now.

"You better take it easy today. If Coach even gets the slightest whiff of exhaustion from you, he'll take you out of the game." Suga bumps Kageyama lightly with his shoulder as he passed him to retrieve the abandoned volleyball. "We can't have our star player getting hurt."

Kageyama made a strange noise, like a mix between a gasp and growl, before falling silent.

Suga could see the way he seemed to be deep in thought, far more contemplative than usual. It was a little frightening, seeing Kageyama so conflicted.

He is incredibly intelligent when it comes to volleyball, and that gives him a sense of serene introspection that Suga was always envious of. To think there's something disrupting that, he knew something must really be bothering him.

"Can I ask you something?"

—

Back in the shared bedroom, Hinata was just beginning to wake up.

There were hushed conversations going on around him, and there was a bright light behind his eyelids. But Hinata wasn't noticing those things.

Hinata was noticing that he was surrounded by a delicious scent. It was rich and cozy and soft, and it was so familiar it made his stomach go all _bwaaaah_ and Hinata had to resist the urge to bury himself in the scent and sniff the pillow like a pervy old man.

Instead, he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning, Prince~" Hinata felt any happy feelings evaporating. Tsukishima's words felt as sharp as ever.

Hinata opened his eyes, hoping his glare was intimidating, despite still being half asleep.

But it was when he opened his eyes that he realized who the smell reminded him of, as he saw his own empty futon next to him. _Oh god. Oh no. No. No no._

Hinata had never moved faster as he leapt from Kageyama's futon, burying his head in hands as his heart began racing the way it only did when Kageyama was concerned. He felt dizzy as all the blood in his body seemed to abandon its primary functions to relocate to his face.

"Tsukki, his face is as red as his hair!" Came Yamaguchi's voice next, followed by quiet laughter.

But Hinata wasn't listening anymore, instead his body was filling with dread. _If he had woken up on Kageyama's futon, and his was empty, where had Kageyama slept?Had Hinata switched futons before Kageyama had woken up? What happened?_

But the question that was whirling around his head faster than the rest was: _Is Kageyama mad?_

Hinata was staring off into space, his eyes glazed over in quiet acceptance of death. Kageyama was gone, he must be angry.

He never misses a chance to challenge Hinata, in every mundane task from cleaning up the futons and racing to breakfast, so if he was missing this morning, he must be _furious_.

Tanaka noticed Hinata's soulless stare, and broke out into a loud laugh. He leapt over Ennoshita to grab Hinata by the shoulders, shaking him roughly.

Hinata gave no response, which only fueled Tanaka's laughter. Tsukishima, on the other hand, was not amused.

"Did the king reject your courtship, your majesty?" Hinata blinked slowly, Tsukki's words slowly registering in his head. He was used to Tsukki's attempts to get under his skin, and most of the time it pissed him off, but if it's Kageyama it's different.

Kageyama Tobio. He was mean, self-centered, and his glare was colder than ice itself. The King of the Court. Hinata hasn't known him for very long, only a year or so, but Hinata can't remember a time when he didn't want to be by Kageyama's side, whether as teammates or bitter rivals.

Hinata has always known getting attached to Kageyama was a big mistake. Hinata thought if he just tried hard enough, he could stop himself from falling for his partner, but no such luck.

Instead, he just started lying to himself.

Pretending not to notice the way Kageyama's hair would flutter around his face in such a way that made Hinata's heart skip a beat whenever he jumped. Or the way his eyes would seem to sparkle whenever they successfully landed a quick.

Hinata tried not to feel too excited whenever Kageyama agreed to hang out with him outside of volleyball (It had only happened once, but it had still taken all of his willpower not to melt into a puddle of overjoyed feelings).

He tried not to let Kageyama cloud his thoughts, tried not to think about him more than was deemed 'appropriate' between two teammates.

But then Kageyama would do something unbelievably stupid, like ruffling Hinata's hair or offering to buy him a meat bun when he forgot his money. Or god forbid, let down his guard and _laugh_ at something Hinata said, and all that hardwork and effort Hinata had put into fooling himself would be thrown out the window.

As the time passed, the things Hinata pretended not to notice only grew in number, but he refused to admit to the feelings he had until only quite recently, after being cornered by Suga and Daichi.

He had vowed long ago to never tell Kageyama of these feelings. He had hoped that if he knew his feelings would never be requited, he could move on.

But his reaction to waking up on Kageyama's futon threw that wish out the window. Hinata's heart ached, and he wrapped his arms around his knees, and sighed.

Shoyo had long forgotten that he had been in the middle of a conversation, and the rest of his teammates were staring at Shoyo like he had just grown two heads.

He never gave up, he never let anything dampen his determination, so seeing him look so _dejected_ was enough to make even Tsukki eat his words.

He wasn't exactly subtle with his pining after his partner, so the other members of Karasuno's Volleyball Club had caught on months ago, the only exception being the other resident volleyball idiot.

After seeing Hinata's sad expression, all the members within earshot turned to glare at Tsukki, who visibly flinched.

"Hey, you're not supposed to get all mopey, stupid." Tsukki snapped, and Hinata brought his eyes up, his normally bright brown eyes dull and lifeless.

Tsukki _tsk_ ed, refusing to look at the tiny spiker, but Hinata knew this was Tsukki’s best attempt at cheering him up had and smiled in appreciation.

"Unrequited love isn't all bad." Nishinoya forced himself into the conversation, slapping his hands onto Hinata's shoulders and grinning warmly down at him.

Shoyo was so grateful for his teammates, and he found himself laughing happily as Tanaka and Noya attacked him playful punches and hair ruffles.

"Take it from us!" Tanaka cried, puffing his chest out with an unwavering sense of pride in that fact, however misguided it was.

"if you don't stop your chitchat, you're going to miss breakfast!" Daichi peeked his head in the doorway at the stragglers, before disappearing again.

Hinata felt the pain in his chest subsiding as he raced Nishinoya to the cafeteria, the two laughing loudly as they narrowly dodged other players, managers, and even Coach Ukai.

But as he turned the last corner, victory in sight, he collided with what felt like a brick wall of a person. Shoyo groaned, pushing himself off and grumbling on about how _Date Tech wasn't even here, so why did that feel like an iron wall?_

Any laughter died in his throat as he brought his eyes up to meet Kageyama's livid glare, and Hinata leapt away so quickly it gave him whiplash.

Even Noya paused in his tracks at the look on Kageyama's face, and Hinata knew he was done for. He'd really gone and done it now.

Kageyama's angry aura caused bypassers to turn and run in the opposite direction, and Hinata felt like his heart had stopped entirely.

He'd only seen this look one time before, when Hinata had sent a serve straight into the back of Kageyama's head, and Hinata was completely frozen in fear.

" _Tch_." Then Kageyama left, without so much as a second glance towards Hinata.

Despite the overwhelming relief that flooded through his body, Hinata knew that if Kageyama didn't verbalize his anger, that meant he was _beyond_ angry, and he was so so _so_ screwed.

"Stay with us, Sho." He heard Nishinoya's voice somewhere nearby, but it sounded as if he were underwater.

He must've passed out, because he could see Noya was holding him up, but Hinata had no control over his limbs anymore. He wondered if Kageyama's glare was really deadly enough to kill him, and if this had been the killing blow.

Kageyama must know about the futon incident, there's no other excuse as to why he could be that angry. Hinata's stomach churned painfully at the thought, and it made him want to bash his head into the wall. This was not good. Not good at all.


	2. Hinata: Amateur Ghost Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: i tried to make this fit in with the timeline of the manga/anime, but i am not perfect so if there’s inconsistencies i apologize! this story is supposed to be set in the time following their victory against shiratorizawa and before the nationals arc.   
> enjoy!

Hinata feels like he's being watched. He would be lying if he said he wasn't used to people watching him, though.

The looks of surprise he receives whenever people watch him play for the first time, or even the confused stares he will get sometimes from adults who take one look at him and decide he's too 'young' to be out on the street on his own. He's used to all of that by now, as irritating as it can be.

Hinata likes the attention when it comes to volleyball- he wants everyone to look at him and be surprised that he can be that strong while being as short as he is.

But this feeling that has been plaguing him since early this morning, the third day of the training camp, is unsettling and it has Hinata feeling on edge. He tried to wrack his brain to try to find a logical explanation for why he's feeling like this, or even when it started, but it only makes his head hurt.

The feeling hadn't been bothering him yesterday, but then again yesterday was a grueling day of conditioning and practice matches and penalties, so it could likely be that Hinata was too hyper-focused on volleyball to notice any strange, unordinary feelings.

Whether he was brushing his teeth alongside Lev and Noya, eating his bodyweight at breakfast, or even just refilling his water bottle, Hinata felt the uncomfortable sense that he wasn't alone.

But every time he looked over his shoulder, or behind every potted plant and vending machine he passed, he never managed to catch anyone watching him.

Hinata shivered as he walked back to where his friends were currently chatting animatedly about a recent V. League match they had all seen recently.

He tried to join in the conversation, because he had watched that game with the other first years during lunch one day, and the spikers were all like _BOOM_ and _bwaaam,_ but as Hinata sat cross-legged on the ground, he could only shiver and think about _ghosts_.

Could it be a ghost? What if it's the spirit of student who died from the heartache of a bad test score? Hinata tried to brush it off as impossible, but the day inched by and the feeling didn't subside, and still no sign of any living person following him.

He even mentioned it to Kenma in passing, which only earned him a painful headlock and laughter from Bokuto and Kuroo, because _of course not! They don't exist!_

Hinata felt himself flushing with embarrassment as he was harrassed by the upperclassmen, but he dropped the issue.

He was probably still on edge after what had happened with Kageyama that first night, and the scary aura he had given off that morning. Hinata felt like he was seeing those eyes in his nightmares.

But Kageyama hasn't so much as glanced in his general direction since that day, and Hinata knew their performance on the court was steadily declining. Yet he couldn't bring himself to say anything to the raven-haired setter.

So he doesn't say anything when Kageyama refuses to acknowledge him when they score a point with their quick set, or when he stalks off on his own whenever Hinata tries to engage with him as they normally would.

And Hinata pretends like it doesn't bother him at all.

—

_It wouldn't kill him to look a little more upset._

Kageyama has been avoiding Hinata. He thought if he distanced himself from the fiery-haired spiker then maybe these strange, fuzzy feelings would fade and Kageyama could get back to what he does best: Volleyball.

He knows his game has been suffering lately, if only in the respect of utilizing their 'strongest decoy', but Kageyama can barely look at his stupid face without feeling all woozy and losing concentration.

His serves have been suffering lately as well, because as the whistle blows, Kageyama has to fight the unbearable urge to send his jump serve flying into the back of that fluffy little head of his because Hinata just makes him _so_ mad.

He had nearly gotten benched the day before, after Coach had caught on to his exhaustion, and it's all Hinata's fault.

_What was that dumbass thinking?_ Tobio has this question swirling in his mind more than anything else, and it's driving him insane. But the more the question ran through his mind, the more the meaning shifted, until all Tobio could think about was whether Hinata had been dreaming about him or not.

But that thought is stupid, because any sane person wouldn't spend a sliver of the amount of time thinking about another person that Kageyama spends thinking about Hinata, lately.

The distance he had tried (and failed) to put between the two of them did little to dispel the odd sickness feelings, which Tobio had feared.

In fact, whenever that dumbass wasn't within sight, hefound himself thinking about him more than when he _is_ around, which almost seemed impossible.

Kageyama was one of the first to rise this morning, which is not unusual, and he fled the room before Hinata had awoken. He ate breakfast, alone, before beginning to warm-up for individual training.

Unfortunately, the path from the sleeping area to the dining area also happens to be the hallway that leads to the gymnasiums, where Kageyama happened to be warming up. Which meant that he was still warming up when Hinata headed down to breakfast.

Despite his best attempt to ignore him, Kageyama's eyes were drawn to the fluffy-haired demon spawn wearing a pajama shirt four sizes too big as he stumbled to breakfast.

_He looks so stupid_ , is what Kageyama thought, but yet that chest-tightening nauseous feeling returned and suddenly the air in the room seemed much thinner as he watched the tiny spiker murmur about breakfast, yawns cutting off his ramblings.

Which was definitely not the cutest thing Kageyama had ever seen. And he most definitely did not imagine what Hinata would look like wearing his clothes, and wondering if his clothes would fit him like that tshirt.

Whenever Hinata wasn't around, Kageyama tried to think about volleyball. To think about the upcoming Spring Tournament.

But these thoughts paled in frequency to the abundance of _where is Hinata? What's he doing? Is he practicing? He should be practicing things other than spiking, like his shitty receives and blocks. Is Hinata letting someone else toss to him? Who is he with? Why?_ until Kageyama felt like he was going to die the way every nerve in his body seemed on fire with another unfamiliar feeling that made him want to find Hinata and lock him away so only he gets to have him.

But instead Kageyama just stops his thoughts there, and the process repeats:

_Volleyball. Hinata. Scary thought. Repeat._

Close to the lunch break, Tobio is returning from his penalty sprints (a consequence he had given himself whenever he thinks about Hinata during practice. _This is his fifth in a half hour_ ) when he hears the annoyingly cute sound Kageyama recognizes as Hinata's laugh drifting through the doorway of the main gymnasium.

The sound causes Kageyama to stop so abruptly he nearly topples over, but he tried to convince himself it was because Hinata _should be practicing and not getting distracted, because he still sucks_.

There was the small voice that has been tormenting him in the back of his head, saying something like _if only he was practicing with me, then maybe_...

Kageyama smashed that train of thought quickly, because frankly, he didn't want to hear it.

Instead he just turned his head to where Hinata was currently surrounded by a large group of people, and he saw Fukurodani's ace ruffling Hinata's hair.

Before he could stop it, the strange feeling from this morning returned, and Kageyama had the horrible idea to march in there and pull Hinata away from them by his obnoxiously-bright orange curls.

It was _his_ fault Kageyama was feeling like this, as if his blood is boiling.

Hinata has always been like a magnet of positive energy that is _suffocating_. He has the ability to make friends with anyone, a trait Kageyama does not. Watching Hinata fitting into a team, making friends with people who aren't him, it makes Kageyama feel like he's lost to Hinata. And there's nothing he hates more than losing to Hinata.

"Chibi-chan, for a noob player, you sure make Akaashi fired up." Bokuto was saying, and Kageyama hated the way Hinata's face lit up with a blinding smile that practically shined like sunlight.

"He has that affect on people, right Tsukki?" Kuroo added, the group laughing at whatever (angry) expression the blonde was making.

No matter how much he suddenly hated seeing Hinata being friendly with others, even Tobio knew he was being unreasonable. The reason Akaashi is tossing the ball up for Hinata at this very moment is because Tobio had been avoiding him at all costs.

So even as the rational part of his brain was screaming at him, Kageyama's legs seemed to move of their own accord as they pulled him towards the doorway of the gymnasium, his gaze never leaving Hinata as he zipped around the court as he always did.

Hinata was smiling in a way he never does around Kageyama, and it was infuriating. _Why does he have to look so damn happy?_

Kageyama couldn't wrap his head around the idea that Hinata didn't seem to need him at all. The absence of Tobio Kageyama has only seemed to make Hinata shine brighter.

But the absence of Shoyo Hinata makes Kageyama's world feel as if it were devoid of color. When had this happened?

When had Kageyama become so attached to Hinata, and why? Hinata was a pain-in-the-ass, for starters. He never knows when to quit, he sucks at volleyball but he never lets that stop him. And he is so persistent, Kageyama couldn't push him away even if he really wanted to.

Tobio thought he was perfectly fine being completely alone. Things like friends or relationships just never really appealed to him, because they had no beneficial value.

If anything, they would take up time and energy Kageyama could be putting towards volleyball. So why all of a sudden did he think about spending every single second with that human equivalent of a tangerine, of all people?

- _Quit scowling, baka-yama. People find you scary when you look like that._ -

Kageyama's eyes snapped open, expecting to see Hinata standing in front of him, the words ringing in his head like a bell.

But Hinata was currently running around the court the way he always does, and there was no indication that Hinata even knew Kageyama was standing there.

Why was he thinking about that now?

He sighed, using his hand to brush his hair away from his forehead.

He could almost feel Hinata's fingertip pressing into his forehead, like he had done then. The phantom feeling of Hinata's fingertips on him were more calming than any of his meditative routines had been so far.

Suddenly, Tobio didn't feel angry anymore, and he held his hands out in front of himself, watching how they were trembling.

The emotions that were washing over him were new and they scared him. It was a feeling that could only be described as warm.

It started in his gut, but spread like wildfire throughout his entire body. It was a nice feeling, but Kageyama had always hated things he had no control over.

_This was for the best_ , he tried to convince himself as he tore his gaze away from Hinata's mesmerizing show of agility, and walked away.

Now was not the time to start regretting his decision to keep Hinata at an arms-length, at least not until he stopped feeling so restless.

—

"I wager four meat buns that he has a crush on Hinata." Nishinoya spoke through mouthfuls of rice, to the other second years, plus Asahi.

"Who?" Asahi asked, tilting his head to the side in a way that reminded Noya of an adorable puppy. How other schools found this man so intimidating, he would never understand.

"Who's gonna tell him?" Kinoshita raised an eyebrow, while Narita and Ennoshita started chuckling quietly.

"I caught Kageyama staring at Hinata with this scary look on his face." Tanaka howled, accidentally spilling some of his miso on the table as he attempted to recreate Kageyama's grumpy face.

"He seriously looked like a pervy stalker." Noya added, causing more laughter among the small group. Asahi still looked confused, but now his eyes had widened to convey his realization.

Asahi had been the last member of the club to learn of Hinata's crush, because he had always been so oblivious. He's so _pure_... It's hilarious.

"How is that any different from you two and Kiyoko?" Ennoshita's voice was firm, but his smile conveyed the lightheartedness his tone did not.

"Because we always make sure Kiyoko-san is aware of our presence!" Noya jumped up, puffing out his chest like he had just been praised (he had not).

"Consent is important!" Tanaka joined Noya, the two of them flexing and posing as if it would make them look cool (it did not).

"Th... That's good... right?" Asahi spoke up quietly, a look of confusion on his face that was the text-book definition of timid. That is, if Noya ever actually opened a textbook. "I mean, Hinata likes him... So there shouldn't be a problem?" The rest of the group burst into laughter, causing Asahi to wince and deflate.

"I wager that you owe me melon popsicles for a week... That Noya is insane because there's no way our resident robot-setter is capable of those kinds of emotions." Ennoshita's condescending smirk made Nishinoya wanna punch him.

"I mean you've seen the way he rejects those girls who confess to him. He's ruthless." Narita added, clearly on Ennoshita's side. Noya and Ennoshita shook hands, the other members laughing, except for Asahi who looked confused and a little afraid.

"You're on."

Following lunch, the afternoon consisted of back-to-back practice matches, and as Karasuno's second-years strolled into the gymnasium, still bickering, they found they were some of the first to arrive, aside from a group who seemed to have been practicing there.

Hinata smiled from where he was stood at the endline, ball in hand.

"Shoyo!" Noya jumped up and down, matching his kouhai's boundless energy.

"Noya-san!"

"Shoyo!”

"No-"

"Stop distracting him while he's in the middle of practice, you idiot!" Ennoshita smacked Noya on the arm.

"It's about time we stopped anyway," Kuroo stretched his arms over his head, as he stepped away from the court. "I've got a rambunctious group of cats to wrangle before the matches start. Kenma!" Kenma followed him begrudgingly, with a look that said: _please don't make me go with you, I'm tired._

"What does ramboon...tius... mean?" It was painfully obvious that Hinata was trying way too hard to even pronounce the word.

Tanaka and Nishinoya were giggling, but froze when Ennoshita sent them a glare that was almost as scary as Daichi's.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I didn't catch that?" Tsukishima was smirking like he had made the funniest joke, causing Hinata to crane his neck to glare up at him. "What was the word again?"

"Shut up, _Suck_ -ki" Hinata huffed, sticking out his tongue and making a face. Tsukishima's eye twitched, but other than that his face had no external response.

"Start stretching!" Ennoshita commanded to the small group of Karasuno's team that had gathered. "Just because Daichi isn't around doesn't mean you can slack off..."

But Shoyo had stopped paying attention to Ennoshita because a familiar raven-haired silhouette had just entered the gymnasium.

His heart betrayed him as it began to pound wildly in his chest, and he grabbed a fistful of his tshirt as if it would calm him. Instead Hinata could just feel his thunderous heartbeat against his hand.

_Calm down_. He tried to tell himself, as he busied himself with stretching, even though he was already warmed up from practicing.

Stretching gave him a reason to focus on something other than Kageyama, who may as well be wearing a tracker the way Shoyo could practically sense his presence as he moved around the gymnasium.

It's true he hasn't seen Kageyama at all today, but the setter seemed almost _ethereal_ this afternoon as he glided across the hardwood floor.

Hinata made the mistake of looking up as he stretched out his legs in a lunge, and caught the latter half of Kageyama pulling off his sweatshirt.

His shirt must have gotten caught in the hoodie, because as he pulled it over his head, the shirt was pulled up with it, giving Hinata a beautiful view of Kageyama's incredibly ~~delicious~~ _toned_ abs for three whole seconds.

Those three seconds would be haunting him in his dreams for the next month.

The moment ended horrifically with Hinata losing his balance and collapsing onto the floor with a humiliatingly loud _thunk_.

There was a lot of laughter directed his way as Hinata pulled himself off the ground, rubbing his forehead with a frown. He really needed to get a grip.

"Hinata, you dumbass! You're not supposed to fall over-"

It was embarrassing the way Hinata's heart began to race at hearing Kageyama actually addressing him for the first time all day. Even if it was only to lecture him.

"Enjoying the view, Prince?" Tsukki whispered as he passed, and Hinata gritted his teeth. He never knew when to quit, did he?

"You okay, Hinata?" Thankfully Yamaguchi was nicer, stopping to pull Hinata to his feet with a warm smile. "Don't worry about him, okay?"

Yamaguchi gestured to where Tsukki was fixing his sports glasses around his head, completely oblivious. Yamaguchi patted Hinata's shoulder, before jogging to catch up with Tsukki.

Hinata rubbed his forehead again, and prayed it wouldn't bruise. He's had more than his fair share of bumps and bruises, but he really wasn't keen on adding " _fell over while admiring his friend and teammate's really nice abs_ " to that list.

"Oi." Hinata stiffened at the sound, partly out of surprise but mostly out of instinctual fear of Kageyama sneaking up on him.

While he had been spacing, Kageyama had managed to sneak up behind him, and was now peering down at him with an expression of irritation and a sprinkle of something Hinata couldn't quite read.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

Shoyo could hardly hear anything at all except for the alarm bells going on off in his head because Kageyama was way too close.

He had one hand on Shoyo's shoulder to steady himself, and the other was busy brushing his sweaty curls from his forehead to get a closer look at his head.

Kageyama's gaze was as stoic and unreadable as ever, but seeing him this close was like a dream.

Shoyo had spent a long time denying it, but Kageyama was incredibly attractive.

It honestly is no wonder so many girls fawn over him, despite his shitty personality. Hinata could practically see the shoujo-manga sparkles as Kageyama's brow furrowed as he gave Hinata a once-over.

The second-years had abandoned their stretching to watch this peculiar scene, and Nishinoya was smirking like he had already won the bet.

"3. 2.... 1." Ennoshita counted under his breath, before gesturing to where Hinata had seemed to get over the shock of Kageyama being that close to him and was currently short-circuiting.

If this were an anime, he would have had a gushing nosebleed. Hinata's face was an abnormally bright shade of red, all the way to his ears, and he looked as if he were about to pass out.

"Wait for it..."

"You dumbass, why are you so hot and flushed? Do you have a fever? Taking care of yourself is important, are you stupid?!" Nishinoya growled under his breath as he watched Kageyama berating an unresponsive Hinata for an illness he did not have.

Thankfully, Suga swooped in to pull the two first-years apart, but Nishinoya caught a glimpse of Kageyama as he stepped away.

He was staring down at his hand, the one that had been touching Hinata, and Noya swore he saw the tiniest smile cross over his face. It was such an odd sight, seeing Kageyama looking anything other than cold, but the moment was gone too quickly, the smile becoming a scowl as soon as Kageyama realized it was there.

"Did you see that smile?" Noya turned to Ennoshita who was grinning and fist-bumping with Narita. "Kageyama totally smiled just now."

"Just admit you've lost." Kinoshita gave him a smile that definitely seemed to be pitying, and Nishinoya tackled the three other second-years with a shout.

"Nishinoya!" Came Daichi's disapproving shout.

"Hinata? You're looking a little pale, are you alright?" Suga asked him after Hinata had come back to reality. That was an understatement. Hinata felt like his soul had been sucked from his body.

He had tried so hard to keep Kageyama by his side, to make Kageyama his in the only way he knew how: by becoming strong enough to be needed.

He had locked away his feelings, crushed his own heart between his fingers and believed he was okay with only ever being seen as Kageyama's partner. To be doomed to this one-sided infatuation as long as he could play volleyball.

But that just wasn't possible anymore, he's realizing.

"Hinata!" Hinata felt dizzy as he tuned back in to reality at the sound of his name. Coach Ukai was giving him a mischievous smile that Hinata didn't like. "In this match, you will play Libero."

This is just _cruel_. He must've hit his head too hard when he fell and died and this must be his punishment for his sins during his lifetime.

"Eh?!" There was a collective scream of panic from the team. It seems Hinata has short-circuited once again, completely oblivious to the pandemonium going on around him. Coach Ukai, who seemed to take sick pleasure in all this, just laughed at the commotion.

Nishinoya looked angry enough to commit murder, Tanaka was laughing like it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard, Asahi is crying? Even Tsukki seemed shocked, his eyes widened and his jaw slack.

The strangest reaction, though, was Kageyama. He had stopped stretching, and took a few steps towards the team, a look of silent objection on his face.

The rest of the team took a step away from him, sensing the scary aura surrounding him.

Hinata seemed to come back to his senses, turning to look up at Kageyama. The look on his face nearly stopped Hinata's heart entirely, and he wasn't even the one receiving it.

"Who will hit my tosses, then?" Coach Ukai seemed unfazed by Kageyama's hostility, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's not a problem, as you will not be playing setter in this match."

This was the last straw. Hinata slumped over, the fear of the angry Kageyama he knew was coming liquifying his limbs.

If Kageyama was getting subbed out, there was no doubt in his mind it was due to their lackluster performances at this training camp. Kageyama would blame Hinata for all this, this he knew. 

"Hinata!" Tanaka groaned as he caught the small spiker before he could hit the ground. " _Again_?"

"What?" Kageyama had thrown his sense out the window.

The one thing he could still control... the tosses... Controlling the court. Everything in his life seemed to be falling apart.

Kageyama felt like he was dangling on the edge of a deep abyss. The edge is crumbling at his fingertips, and he's slipping... Kageyama is frantically reaching for something to grab onto, but the more he struggles, the faster he seems to fall. He doesn't want to fall into that abyss. Not again.

The two normally disruptive first-years were eerily silent as Ukai explained the rules for their first practice match of the day.

It was a member swap of sorts, with the starters playing roles they may not be used to. The goal was to improve the base-level of Karasuno's technical skill as a team.

Apparently Kageyama would be Karasuno's pinch server.

Kageyama's world felt like a blur, the colors melting and fading into black-and-white nothingness. 

It wasn't until the sharp tone of the starting whistle that everything came back into focus so abruptly it knocked the wind out of him.

He nearly dropped the ball, and he blinked once, twice, three times to ground himself. He knew he was far too stressed to serve well, but that didn't stop him from sending the ball soaring over the net at top speed...

To the back wall of the gym.

He's never served that badly, not even when he was first learning a jump serve.

Most of the players were silent, faces blank with shock that Kageyama could miss the court by that large a margin. It seems his reputation definitely precedes him.

Tanaka and Tsukishima burst into laughter, immediately turning to throw insults his way. Daichi shouted at the two from where he was standing next to Coach Ukai, and while their captain was distracted, Hinata spun around, covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

"Well, that's one way to lose a point." Ukai sighed as the two started wrestling, both seeming to completely forget they were in fact in the middle of a game.

But above that, Karasuno's members were relieved to see the pair acting normally for the first time since they had arrived at the camp.

The genuine smile on Hinata's face as he dodged Kageyama's swipes seemed to surprise everyone. It was a smile they hadn't seen in a while: the smile that only _Kageyama_ can bring out of him.

Kageyama noticed the smile a little late, but when he did his limbs abruptly froze up, and he found himself mesmerized by the sight. Had Hinata always smiled at him like that? That smile was the most dazzling he had ever seen it, and it made his heart flutter intensely.

But Hinata's smile was fading, as he had noticed Kageyama staring. _Oh no_.

"Kage...yama?" Hinata had a question in his eyes that Kageyama didn't want to answer, so he turned quickly on his heels, turning his back to Hinata.

He hated the way his heart seemed to be disobeying him as it pounded so fiercely it seemed to be reaching out towards the sunshine incarnate that was still standing on the court looking confused.

He really should be angry he missed his serve, or angry Hinata decided to pick a fight with him, but Kageyama found himself fighting back a smile, and he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks against his will.

Kageyama mumbled some excuse about needing to refill his water bottle, and hurried out of the gym.

Once safely outside in the hallway, Kageyama leaned against the wall, shocked by how hot his face felt. But he had felt fine earlier, until Hinata had to go and smile at him like _that_.

" _Dumbass_..." Kageyama muttered to himself, as he finished his water bottle in four desperate gulps, to give himself an excuse to stay away from the gym for a little while longer. 

In the gymnasium, everyone was still reeling from the strange interaction. Everyone had the seen the look of fondness that had crossed Kageyama's face, except for Hinata. That's why he was looking around, confused as to why everyone was staring at him with such dumb-founded expressions.

The game continued shortly after, and the odd behavior was slowly forgotten as the adrenaline of a match settled over both Nekoma and Karasuno.

Kageyama re-entered the gymnasium after he had had a chance to breath, and he took a seat against the wall to watch the game.

He understood that this was just one practice match, and he wasn't really being benched, but he couldn't shake the angry feeling in his gut that he wasn't on the court. He missed holding the ball in his hands, the feeling as it left his fingertips and soared towards an awaiting spiker...

Kageyama's thoughts came to a screeching halt as Hinata miraculously placed himself in the path of an incoming spike, and was able to haphazardly receive it with his chest. His form, his placement, his timing... All of it was abysmal, but he still managed it. He was improving, he was getting better, while Kageyama was sitting down, completely static.

Hinata didn't look at all pleased by that receive, and rightly so, but it was that frustration that is fuel for growth. It's that look that scares Kageyama the most.

—

It was set point for Nekoma. Karasuno was four points behind.

Kageyama was called up to serve. It was clear that Karasuno's morale was at an all-time low, but Kageyama felt calmer than ever as he stepped up, ball in hand.

"Kageyama, nice serve!" Hinata shot him a smile that gave Kageyama shivers, so he tried to ignore it in order to keep his concentration.

If he ever wanted to surpass Oikawa, he needed to improve his serve. He never wants to lose again. Kageyama wants to stay on the court the longest.

- _If you're supposed to be the king who rules the court... I'm going to defeat you and stand on the court the longest!-_

Kageyama inhaled sharply, quickly shaking the thoughts away. Now was not the time to be thinking of things like that.

The whistle sounded, and Kageyama could feel the ecstatic feeling of nervous energy. He was back on the court. He needed to use this chance he was given.

When he is on the top of his game, his vision seems better than normal: he can see the players, the end line, and everything else fades away. It's just him, the ball, and the court. He loves when that happens.

The feeling of a perfect spike, where the ball is like an extension of his own body. Time slows to a stop as the ball is propelled through the air, perfectly on target.

It was a beautiful serve, maybe his best one in days.

But it was still received at the last moment, and Kageyama's heart dropped to his feet. 

Kageyama froze in place, as he watched the opponent volley the ball back towards him.

Hinata had seen it.

He had seen the setter before he received the ball. He also knew that now there could not be a toss and therefore impossible for a quick.So the attack would come from wherever the ball is falling.

_Focus, focus. Follow the ball... There. The right side_.

Kageyama is uncharacteristically quiet. It's infuriating.

"Don't give up, you IDIOT!" The words left his mouth out of pure instinct, as he shoved his teammate aside, in a drastic attempt to receive the ball, which had just been spiked by Kuroo.

One moment Kageyama was frozen, his legs locked in place, and the next he was being pushed aside by a flash of red hair, watching Hinata sprinting cross-court to dive for Kuroo's spike. And by some miracle, the ball went up, connecting with Hinata's palm.

"Cover!" Hinata shouted, as he pulled himself to his feet, wiping the sweat from his forehead. The rest of the play was a blur, ending with a weak spike that fell just inside the line, a point for Karasuno.

The court fell silent, all eyes on the ball as if it had just grown legs and walked. That seemed more likely than Hinata making a perfect receive, and a cross-court one at that.

The first to break the silence was none other than Hinata, who turned away from the court, a violent scowl tainting his features.

"Kageyama." The seething aura that surrounded Hinata in that moment was enough to intimidate even the cold-hearted king himself.

At this point, Karasuno seemed to snap out of its trance and they began to flock to Hinata, cheering loudly, as if they had just won a game.

Hinata ignored their cheers, his disapproving glare locked on Kageyama, the beautiful smile he had given Kageyama a few moments ago nothing more than a distant memory.

With his teammates flocked around him, Hinata spoke the two words Kageyama never thought he would hear coming from his partner:

" _You're pathetic._ "


	3. Liar, Liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s very brief and not intense, but i just wanted to preface that if any kind of violence is triggering for you, this chapter contains it.

" _You're pathetic_."

For a moment, a brief moment, the complete and utter stillness made Kageyama believe that maybe he had misheard.

That maybe those words had been his own brain playing a twisted joke on him.

Even if it had been a joke, the blood running through his veins felt like molten lava, and the only thoughts running through his head is that Hinata needs to be put in his place.

Inexperienced, clumsy Hinata. His receives suck, his basics are hardly even at the middle school level, and the only reason he is on the court is because of Kageyama.

Yet, in that moment, Hinata had surpassed him. He had been left in the dust, and Hinata made a brilliant play without him.

Actually, he had done it _despite_ Kageyama doing nothing.

Kageyama needed to be in control. He needed to be needed. He couldn't let Hinata realize he could do better than him. There isn't a world where Kageyama could let Hinata surpass him. He won't lose his partner. Hinata was his, and only _his_ spiker.

" _Eh_?!" Kageyama responded, his tone reflecting the inner anger he was feeling at Hinata's apparent success. Hinata depended on Kageyama to win. He needed Kageyama. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

"Hinata!" Daichi hissed, pushing Hinata away from Kageyama, sensing the hostility and hoping to prevent another fight.

By now everyone in the gym had noticed the hostility on Karasuno's side, and many of the players stopped their own games to turn their prying eyes towards Karasuno's court.

But Hinata and Kageyama felt as if the world had faded to the background, and it was just the two of them, staring at each other with matching glares.

Tobio has never hated his ineptitude when it came to communication more than in this moment. There were so many things he wished he could say, but the words would get stuck somewhere in his throat, leaving Tobio gaping like a fish.

He's only seen Hinata angry, truly angry, once. In the gym, because he had tried to give up on their new quick. And Kageyama had hated it.

No matter how cold Kageyama was, he thought he could always depend on Hinata for warmth.

But you know what they say about fire and ice: they can't be tamed by the other, without being destroyed in the process. It's a never-ending cycle of pain and destruction that is completely unavoidable.

The Hinata that was being restrained by Daichi and Tanaka was not warm: he was a blazing inferno, and his soft brown eyes that had glowed with something like joy just a few moments ago were burning with something Kageyama couldn't place.

He wanted to say something, anything, to make Hinata stop looking at him like that. Looking at him like he is the _enemy_.

"Only the strong can stay on the court!" Hinata was fighting against the arms holding him back. "You were the one who told me that!" Kageyama was clenching his fists so tightly at his sides, his knuckles white as a sheet, completely devoid of any color. "Does our promise mean nothing to you?!"

- _In the end, the one who's gonna finally beat you is me! Even if that takes ten years! Or twenty!_ -

 _It means everything to me_ , he wanted to say.

"The only reason you're even on the court is because of me." Kageyama's voice was more calm than he's ever heard it, but the temperature in the room felt as if it dropped by twenty degrees.

Hinata stiffened, and something in Kageyama's chest snapped. He doesn't believe that... Not anymore.

"Says the only first year who was benched."

The gymnasium fell deathly silent, even Daichi who was trying to calm Hinata seemed frozen, the soothing words he had been muttering dying on his tongue.

"That's enough..." It was Coach Ukai who spoke, but his words fell on deaf ears.

Hinata and Kageyama were in a world all their own, both having forgotten they were in a gymnasium full of people, in the middle of a match.

Kageyama's legs moved against his will, propelling him towards the tiny spiker, who was doing the same. He felt like he was possessed, watching his body as he pulled Hinata off the ground by his shirt, getting a perfect view of Hinata's fiery glare.

Kageyama wondered what his own face looked like in this moment. It certainly didn't match how he felt inside. Kageyama felt like he was trapped inside his own body, as his world spiralled out of control, at his own doing.

" _I'll never toss to you again._ " Is what he said.

The words felt foreign as they left his lips, and he wished he hadn't said it.

What he wished he'd said was _p_ _lease stop looking at me like that_ , or even _I'm sorry I disappointed you_.

Why was his body reacting this way? Why was he so angry? Tobio didn't know the answer to these questions, and he was forced to watch Hinata's angry glare vanish in an instant, and he knew the damage had been done. His fire had been extinguished, leaving only charred scraps behind.

Shoyo wants to be angry. All he wanted was to be worthy of playing by Kageyama's side, as equals. He wanted to win with Kageyama by his side. He wanted to stay by his side forever. He wanted him all to himself.

But he would never be good enough.

Kageyama had given up on him. Shoyo wanted to be angry, but every fibre in his body felt singed, like the anger had just fizzled out. Now he just felt lost somewhere between numb and sad.

Hinata is in love with Kageyama, and everyone seems to know except for Kageyama. And he thought he was okay with that. He really did.

He believed that as long as Hinata could play by Kageyama's side, he could push aside his feelings and be happy.

_Am I really that replaceable to you?_

Kageyama's glare was unrelenting, even as he let go of Hinata's shirt and stepped away. There was not even a sliver of regret in his eyes.

Shoyo always knew he was stupid. He had lost yet again. How many times is that now?

He felt like there was a javelin embedded in his chest, that said _Kageyama didn't need him_.

With every breath it was twisted deeper, until Hinata couldn't take it anymore.

All that time he had spent pretending, all the lies and the fake smiles, all the nights spent lying awake. All the tears shed. All of it was meaningless.

Shoyo stumbled backwards, looking incredibly unsteady on his feet. Suga was in front of him now, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep him steady.

"Hinata..."

Normally Hinata would find his presence calming, but the look in his eyes was like a slap to the face. He holds Hinata's gaze with a look that screams pity.

Hinata swept his eyes around the room, taking in all of the expressions. Everyone was looking at him like he was some fragile object, like one wrong look and he would shatter.

Maybe that is the reason why Shoyo bent over himself, his shoulders shaking as laughter bubbled out of him. It was a laugh so flat and humorless it seemed to suck all the oxygen from the room.

Suga shivered, stepping away from Hinata, who was still laughing like Suga had just told the funniest joke in the world.

Nothing was funny, Hinata knew that better than anyone, but seeing everyone looking at him like he was a ticking time bomb was so damn frustrating. Even if it was true.

"I just want to play volleyball," Hinata pushed Suga aside gently, his gaze falling on Kageyama's confused face. He knew he must look crazed, but he couldn't find the energy to care. "So get out of my way..."

Hinata broke into a sprint, his brain clouded over by all of the pent-up anger, sadness and longing that Hinata had locked deep inside for so _damn_ long.

He was so tired. Tired of pretending to be okay.

" _YOU INSUFFERABLE KING_."

The next thing Hinata knew, he was standing in front of Kageyama, who was curled over himself, clutching a hand to his face. Hinata's hand was throbbing, and it took him a moment for the haze to fade and realized he had _punched_ him.

In the spur of the moment, Hinata allowed his feelings to overtake his rational thoughts, and his body had moved purely on instinct.

Hinata's hands were trembling as he stared at them like they had developed a mind of their own. _What have I done?_ Hinata's brain screamed at him, as he stumbled backwards, away from Kageyama.

Chaos seemed to erupt after that.

Hinata was forcibly lifted from the ground by Asahi, whose normally anxiously kind face was twisted with a silent fury that left Hinata petrified.

There was so much noise, people rushing to separate the two first years, the coaches barking orders.

Hinata did not resist as he was dragged out of the gym by Asahi, followed closely by Daichi. Outside, Asahi dropped him into a snowbank of freshly-shoveled snow.

The snow was freezing against his exposed skin, but Hinata just imagined the cold numbing his entire body. His heart, his brain. Everything.

But the pain didn't subside, and Hinata pounded on the ground with his fist, and let all his emotions out with a guttural, animalistic scream. All of the anger, hurt, heartache he was feeling.

He had been holding back all of these emotions since they'd arrived, since that first morning he'd woken up wrapped up in Kageyama's futon. Since he had first realized the feelings he had developed without his permission.

"Hinata." He slowly pushed himself onto his knees, bringing his eyes up to the late-afternoon sky. It was a pretty view. "You went too far this time."

"You don't think I realize that?" Hinata shut his eyes to hold back the angry tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. He dug his fingernails into his palms in an attempt to calm himself down, to no avail. "I'm so weak."

\--

"Thankfully it's not broken." Suga sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose the way Kageyama has seen his father do whenever he and his sister would argue at the dinner table.

Takeda had to step up to the role of a makeshift nurse since there wasn't one present, and he had had to search up proper care of nosebleed on the internet. He did this all while blubbering in a way that made it seem like Kageyama were dying (even though he knew he wasn't).

Twenty excruciating minutes later, Kageyama was physically alright, aside from his still dripping nose.

But emotionally... That was an entirely different story.

"Keep an eye on him," Takeda was speaking, but Kageyama had started to tune everything out. "I need to go meet with the other coaches."

Kageyama had royally screwed everything up. That much was obvious. If only he could control himself, none of this would have happened. _Control freak, my ass_.

"Wake up!" Suga shouted, the moment Takeda had disappeared from the room. He smacked Kageyama on the back of head _hard_ , causing him to wince in shock.

He deserved this, but he hadn't expected Suga, the cool-headed one, to be the one shouting at him.

"I wasn't going to say this because it's none of my business but you are so goddamn _DENSE_ that I have no choice."

Kageyama wasn't sure how to react, so he just blinked dumbly.

Suga crossed his arms over his chest, and gave Kageyama an angry glare that gave the raven-haired setter chills. 

"You messed up. Big time."

"I know that!" Kageyama slumped slightly, only to be pulled back up straight by Suga.

"You need to stand up straight until your nose stops bleeding." Suga's voice had calmed, but the underlying anger was still there. "Do you remember what I asked you yesterday?"

Kageyama just nodded, but said nothing.

"I asked what you were so scared of, remember? I said that if you don't get your head out of your ass, you were going to lose him for good?" Suga's voice steadily increased in volume, until he was shouting, "And what did you do? You did the exact opposite! For someone who hates the nickname, you sure do like to act like an egocentric king."

Suga placed his hand on Kageyama's shoulder- not as a comforting gesture, but to keep Kageyama sitting upright, before he slumped over again.

"Is this what you wanted, your majesty?"

"I don't know why I said it!" The words erupted from Kageyama's lips in a broken yell, and he hated the way his eyes filled with tears before he could stop them. "I just... I didn't.."

"There is nothing you could say that would make me forgive you." Suga rubbed at his face, sighing again. "You have _no idea_ what you've done."

But Suga was wrong. Kageyama knew exactly what he had done. He's not so stupid as to be able to ignore it after literally being _punched_ by it.

It is the four-letter word he has been running from, has been desperately brushing off since they arrived at this training camp. Hell, he's been ignoring it for months.

What he didn't want to accept, but was painfully obvious now. It was the prolonged eye contact, the goodnight texts he never responded to but always looked forward to. The high expectations, and the teasing smiles. It was the reason why Kageyama wanted Hinata to depend on him. It made him hurt the one person he never meant to.

"I was so scared." Kageyama finally spoke up, catching the first tear as it slipped down his cheek. He had no right to be crying, when all of this was his fault. He can't remember the last time he's even cried, aside from after the loss at the Preliminaries.

Suga opened his mouth, an anger-fueled lecture on his tongue, but it was silenced when he noticed the tears slipping down his kouhai's cheeks. His face was as expressionless as always, but his eyes held all the pain he couldn't seem to externalize. It was enough to silence even Suga.

First loves weren't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be hearts and smiles and chocolates on Valentine's Day.

Then again Hinata and Kageyama have always been unconventional. They were like magnets, when they were on the same wavelength, it is impossible to pull them apart. But if they are not...

"You need to fix this," Suga's anger was fading, his tone filled with a sudden anxiety that cut like jagged glass. "And not for you. For the team."

\--

_A few months earlier, before the Summer Inter-High Preliminaries_...

It had been an irritating day. Far more annoying that usual.

That morning, Kageyama had overslept and arrived at school later than usual, stumbling into the gym just before practice was set to begin, sweating and panting from running.

Hinata, who had arrived an hour earlier, at their usual time, hadn't stopped smirking about it.

Kageyama wasn't sure why Hinata beating him to practice made him feel so dejected, but it had affected his focus during practice to the point he even flubbed a toss. Kageyama never misses a toss.

Then there had been that pop quiz in math that morning.

One'd think being considered a volleyball prodigé would transfer to his academic life. But Kageyama couldn't even figure out what it means to 'derivitive' something, so getting to the second one was out of the question.

As the bell rang marking the end of the lesson, Kageyama had started to scribble down the beginnings of a basic equation, but his paper was more or less left completely blank. He hadn't managed to answer a single question.

Kageyama refused to make eye contact with his teacher as he handed in his paper and promptly hurried out of the room.

Normally, things like bad test scores or missing homework wouldn't bother him, but after the frustrating morning he's had, he found himself _seething_ as he stomped down the hall towards his next class.

Passerby jumped when they caught sight of the murderous glare on his face. A few girls even yelped in fear, huddling together as if it would save them from Kageyama's glare.

 _Lunch break_.

Kageyama nearly wept tears of joy when the bell cut through the silence of the classroom. He shot to his feet, ready to sprint to the vending machine.

Maybe he would run into Hinata and maybe he would ask for some tosses. Sometimes it seemed Hinata had some kind of magic power to materialize whenever Kageyama needed him. Or whenever he didn't.

It didn't matter, because Kageyama was starting to look forward to it as he hurried out of his classroom, rummaging through his pocket for the spare change set aside for his daily carton of milk at lunch.

Kageyama was dreaming about the practice he had convinced himself would definitely happen today, that he didn't notice the small presence in front of him until the last second.

He came to an abrupt stop, his gaze falling on that of a girl who was smiling up at him in a way that made his stomach twist. He knew that look far too well.

"Hinata!" Shoyo brought his gaze up from the bento he had been focused on inhaling. He'd had the idea during the last lesson: he would meet Kageyama at the vending machine he frequents at lunch and invite him to practice.

He had noticed Kageyama's odd behavior during practice that morning and wanted to make up for all the teasing he had done.

Shoyo had to hold back the urge to huff in annoyance at being disturbed, as he looked up to find Tanaka and Noya hovering over him, identical mischievous smiles plastered over their faces. Somehow, he knew he wouldn't like what they had to say.

He was dragged along by Tanaka and Noya, without receiving any choice in the matter, and Hinata mourned the loss of his perfect lunchtime plan. He would just offer to buy Kageyama a meat bun after practice, he decided.

"What's going on? Tanaka-senpai? Noya-san?" Hinata was dragged down the stairs and between groups of startled students, before Tanaka came to a halt much too quickly that Hinata's collided painfully with Tanaka's back.

"Haven't you heard?" Noya finally addressed his kouhai, panting slightly from running halfway across the school.

"Heard wha-"

"Kageyama's getting a girlfriend!" Hinata's legs seemed to lose feeling as he wobbled unsteadily on his feet before slumping against the wall.

Hinata's heart was racing, and his stomach felt as if it had tied itself into a knot, twisting tighter with each passing second.

"He... what?" He managed to croak out a response, and his strange behavior clearly wasn't lost on his senpais, who grabbed him and pushed him forward, so he could get a perfect view of Kageyama standing in the middle of the courtyard, with a girl.

"Don't be jealous, Shoyo-kun," Noya was trying to comfort him, but it was clear by his expression he was misreading the sitaution. Hinata wasn't jealous. He couldn't be.

Kageyama has always been popular with the girls in their year, though Hinata isn't sure why (he makes sure to tell him so), so girls confessing to him wasn't new.

But it still isn't any less surprising... That's the reason why Hinata feels like his chest had just been trampled on. Obviously.

"That girl is in our year, right Noya-san?" Tanaka asked, and Noya's face twisted into a mean face that said ' _i'm so jealous, but i'm trying not to let it show_.'

A second year? Was Kageyama really that interesting? His face is... _sufficient_ , and he can be pretty considerate when you least expect it... But come on, what do these girls really see in him? They don't even _know_ him.

Kageyama is mean, he's always hurting people (especially Hinata), he wouldn't know how to smile if it slapped him in the face.

He's not really all that, so why is this beautiful second year girl with the perfectly done-up hair grabbing his hand like that? Hinata wished he didn't have to see this. He wanted to run away.

Which is exactly what he did, leaving his two incredibly confused senpais blinking in surprise at Hinata's retreating figure.

Hinata was left reeling over what he had seen for the rest of the afternoon, and the ugly feeling in his chest never dissipated.

He wondered what it would be like if Kageyama had a girlfriend. He would probably spend a lot of time with her. Would he eat lunches with her?

Hinata imagined Kageyama, sitting next to her on a bench, sharing a bento, knees bumping gently. He imagined him politely refusing Hinata with a _sorry, I'm eating lunch with my girlfriend, so I can't practice with you_.

Hinata's pencil snapping pulled him from his thoughts, his notes from class with a new pencil-sized hole right in the center.

He sighed, letting his head fall against his desk. The coolness helped to soothe his flushed cheeks, but still the feeling as if his stomach were churning remained.

Kageyama was faring little better. His lunch was ruined by yet another girl who seemed to have fewer brain cells than Hinata.

It's become somewhat of a known fact that Kageyama Tobio, first-year in Class Three, rejects every girl brave enough to confess. It's not like he enjoys hurting their feelings (maybe last year, but he's different now).

Tobio only has volleyball, he doesn't want anything to jeopardize the most important thing in his life. He knows that these girls wouldn't be too keen to know he will not care for them even a fraction of what he feels for volleyball. So he rejects them.

In their respective classrooms, Hinata and Kageyama had the same thought:

_Today has been the worst day ever._

Kageyama had stopped fighting his growing frustration as he walked towards the club room for practice. He received a lot of nervous whispering and curious glances from passerby, but he just ignored it. He was used to it by now.

His brain was already far ahead of his body, planning out his pre-practice routine, by the time he arrived at the clubroom.

He was instantly met with shouting and a lot of laughter that made Kageyama's mood worsen. It felt as if his teammates were rubbing their good fortune in his face.

The shouting ceased when his teammates noticed Kageyama in the doorway, and he received many glares, in varying levels of intensity.

He received matching glares from Tanaka and Nishinoya, the one reserved for matters regarding _Kiyoko, criticism, dating_ , or a combination thereof.

Kageyama knew the unfortunate lunchtime confession must have something to do with it, and he had to force down the disgust that fizzled in the back of his throat. Taking out his anger on his teammates isn't going to make him feel better.

Tsukishima's instinctual reaction to Kageyama's presence was a spine-chilling stare, but he believes he has become a master at ignoring it entirely, and he takes pride in the way Tsukishima clicks his tongue in irritation at being ignored.

Suga and Asahi were taking in Kageyama's tense expression with looks of concern, but otherwise seemed lost in conversation.

But Hinata was far more annoying than usual.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Tobio huffed out a greeting, before quickly looking away from him.

Tobio could tell something was off about him: he seemed just as energetic as usual, but _wrong_.

Even though he had attempted to hide it, in the short moment their eyes met, Hinata's gaze held something that looked almost sad.

But then it was gone, replaced by a fierce glare that made Kageyama want to hit him. He was supposed to be the cheerful one, that dumbass.

"Kageyama... you bastard!" Tanaka and Nishinoya pounced on the raven-haired boy, like moths to a flame.

Kageyama tried to push them off, because the last thing he wanted to talk about in that moment was the dumpster fire that was that confession, especially when something was clearly bothering Hinata.

And Kageyama's urge to cheer him up rivaled even his irritation that Hinata was angry in the first place.

"The cute first-years weren't good enough for you?" Noya growled, biting his arm playfully.

Kageyama grimaced, pushing off the overzealous libero and quickly brushing himself off. _Gross_.

"So you had to pounce on the second-years?! You dog, you..."

This was incredibly annoying. Not only did Kageyama not ask to be confessed to, but now it was cutting into his volleyball time. He wished the day would just _end_ , already.

"She confessed to me. I didn't ask for my lunch period to be ruined. Now let me go." Kageyama huffed, finally freeing himself from their grasp and taking his normal place next to Hinata.

He tried to change quickly, as he had already lost precious minutes he could have spent warming up before practice.

"That's so harsh, Kageyama-kun!" Noya moaned, clearly not taking the hint that Kageyama would rather be skinned alive and left to die than continue having this conversation.

"That girl cared about you!" Tanaka spoke, before continuing under his breath, "Though I can't see why."

Kageyama ignored their comments, focusing much too intentily on slipping on his knee pads.

"Well, he's a king after all," Tsukki waved his hand towards Tanaka, as if he were stating something quite obvious. "And us commonfolk are simply unworthy of standing before him. Hmm?" He sneered at Kageyama, who just scowled back at him.

"Hinata, how would you respond?" Hinata froze, having been caught in his attempt at escaping the clubroom unseen.

He spun around much too quickly, which he knew made him look incredibly suspicious. He really didn't want to be a part of this conversation.

Shoyo looked so unnaturally stiff that it caused the rowdy second-years to burst into laughter. He could feel his cheeks flood with heat, and he wished he could just melt into a puddle. Maybe then he wouldn't have to witness Kageyama's frustrated stare.

"I-if he confesst-t to me?" Hinata pointed to himself weakly, and he could see the way he was trembling, and cursed himself. This is so embarrassing. Tanaka's ear-splitting laughter certainly wasn't helping.

"Like we would expect the other volleyball idiot to understand." Noya teased, strolling up to Hinata and wrapping his arm around his shoulder to guide him back to where Kageyama was standing.

Immediately Hinata's heart began pounding in his chest, and his stomach clenched. What is he so nervous for? He hasn't done anything to piss Kageyama off today, at least that he can remember. So why does he feel like if he gets any closer his heart is going to explode?

"How would you feel if a girl who was mean like Kageyama-kun rejected you?" Tanaka asked, before giving Hinata a light push towards Kageyama.

In his jumpy state, Hinata tripped over his own foot and collided face first into Kageyama's chest. In that moment, Hinata felt three different emotions all at once:

The first was _fear_. Time seemed to slow as Hinata lost his balance and started falling. He knew he was going to run into Kageyama, and there was nothing he could do to stop the outcome.

So all he could think was _oh god, oh shit... Kageyama's gonna be so pissed. He's gonna kill me. Someone tell my family I love them. It was all over. And I will never get to experience Nationals._

The second was a fear-induced haze that somehow tricked him into believing that maybe what was about to happen is worth dying over.

Kageyama was firm as Shoyo’s face collided with him, but the feeling of Kageyama's body against his own made his heart flutter in a way that wasn't entirely unpleasant. His head was spinning wildly and he was having an increasingly hard time convincing himself this was bad.

Maybe that was because Shoyo was witnessing firsthand how intoxicatingly incredible he smells. He smells like laundry detergent and faintly of trees? Wood? Kageyama smells like a goddamn _forest_ and he is losing his shit.

The last... As Shoyo had fully fallen over like the embarrassing idiot he is, his brain had the wonderful idea to remind him of that stupid confession and that pretty girl.

That beautiful girl who looked so right standing next to Kageyama, the girl who would be able to feel like this all the time, and for _real_.

Shoyo suddenly felt like punching the wall until he passed out from blood loss, but also like breaking down and crying. What is wrong with him today?

Why did he want to just wrap his arms around Kageyama's torso and never let go? Why did he suddenly imagine Kageyama's strong arms wrapping around him in a tight embrace? And why did he want that so badly?

But the world could only move in slow motion for so long, and suddenly Hinata was being pushed away. Kageyama's strong grip on his arms felt like needles piercing through his skin.

Everyone was looking at him. Why is everyone looking at him like he had just grown a third head?

Kageyama was yelling at him, something about _clumsy_ and _good-for-nothing_ but Hinata had been embarrassed enough for the next two lifetimes and he was sick of everyone staring at him.

"I would call her a robot." Kageyama's words trailed off at Hinata's soft response.

Hinata dug his nails into his palm to ground himself, because he couldn't let himself get drawn into... whatever _voodoo_ Kageyama was emitting today that was making him act so strangely.

"Because I would be pouring my heart out to her and the least she could do is give away a moment of his oh-so-precious time-" Hinata was getting carried away, and he was taking out his own embarrassment on Kageyama but he couldn't stop the rush of word vomit that fell from his lips. "-and put aside his stifling ego and listen instead of being such an asshole all the time."

Hinata left after that, and the clubroom was so silent that it was almost deafening.

Halfway through, the _she_ had clearly become a _he_ , and it seemed everyone was acutely aware of that fact.

Ten pairs of shocked eyes shifting to land on Kageyama, who was standing frozen like Hinata's words had actually turned him to stone.

"Hinata really must be jealous of Kageyama, huh?" Tanaka spoke, breaking the silence with an awkward laugh that no one appreciated.

"Well, as strange as that was," Daichi shook his head, stepping into the center of the clubroom, addressing the remaining members. "It's time to start practice. We're starting with a run, so get changed and start warming up. Now."

In a moment of nonverbal communication, Suga and Daichi had agreed upon a plan, and so Suga had disappeared, following after Hinata. Maybe he might have the rest of the team fooled, but Suga knew that behavior all too well. The blushing, the breathlessness, the outbursts...

And it wasn't mere jealousy, that Suga knew for certain.


	4. the Pronoun Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter ended up being so much longer than the rest, but i really didn’t feel like separating it so i hope you don’t mind!

The argument that had occurred in the clubroom before practice- after Kageyama had been confessed to by a second-year during his lunch period and the events that transpired after- is what became known as ' _the Pronoun Incident_ ' to the members of the Karasuno High School Volleyball Club (sans the two members directly involved).

It is due to 'the Pronoun Incident' that Suga, Daichi, and Tsukishima, of all people, became glaringly aware of Middle Blocker Hinata Shoyo’s monumental crush on Setter Kageyama Tobio and reacted accordingly, or _not reacting_ , depending on who you ask.

Daichi, being captain, had to focus on starting practice. As for the situation, he had a difficult time even understanding what was going on, but he wasn't too oblivious to see the mild gay panic Hinata seemed to be having.

Suga took it upon himself to deal with Hinata, because he knew Daichi wouldn't unless it began to affect practice. He hoped it wouldn't come to that.

And Tsukishima? He did absolutely nothing. It irritated him that he had figured it out though, because it only made the duo more insufferable.

Kageyama has never ran alone on team outings, since he had joined the team. He always had Hinata next to him, pushing him to run faster, longer, better. He was still running far ahead of the rest of the team, but Kageyama felt almost bored without any competition.

Hinata was at the back of the group, having been practically dragged off by Suga before they had started.

Kageyama had half a mind to be angry, but the shock of Hinata's strange behavior still hadn't completely faded and Kageyama had forgotten that he even had a reason to be angry.

He usually doesn't let Hinata get away with yelling at him like that, and it was irritating that Kageyama wasn't plotting Hinata's demise and instead was too busy wondering _what his problem is._

Kageyama has known Hinata for a few months at this point, and he likes to think he knows the spiker decently well.

Not that he wants to know him, but when Hinata is so trusting and just... well, Hinata... Kageyama picks up on stupid little things.

Like how his birthday is on the longest day of the year, or that his favorite food is raw egg oversteamed rice. Or that he laughs at almost everything, regardless of whether or not it's worth laughing about.

But that Hinata is not the same Hinata that was standing in front of him only a half-hour ago, and Kageyama was fuming at the fact that he is actually _not_ angry but worried about him. A little bit.

But it's not like Kageyama actually cares or anything, he just doesn't want this to affect their practice. And clearly it has, since Hinata isn't currently beside him.

_Be more angry!_ He tries to convince his brain, because this strange feeling of _concern_ he's feeling is freaking him out.

Kageyama isn't the type to think about anything other than himself... and volleyball. Mostly volleyball.

He shouldn't be this bothered by Hinata's odd behavior. Kageyama was supposed to be sulking because of his awful day, not trying to pscho-analyze every word Hinata had said to him today.

Practice is even more frustrating because not only does Hinata avoid eye contact whenever possible, but during spiking practice, _deliberately_ chooses Suga to toss to him without even so much as glancing in Kageyama's direction.

Kageyama couldn't bash Hinata's skull in because Daichi was watching and he isn't supposed to _care_ this much. So he just settles for glaring at the back of Hinata's annoyingly-bright orange head whenever he was sure no one was looking.

By the time practice was over, Kageyama was so confused and irked by Hinata's attempts to ghost him that he tried to corner him in the storage room as he was putting the net away, blocking the only exit with his body.

Hinata wouldn't be able to leave without acknowledging the way he's been avoiding him.

But the satisfaction died when Hinata turned aroundand shrieked, high-pitched and very animal-like, when he noticed Kageyama in the doorway.

Kageyama reminded Hinata of a demon the way his blue eyes seemed to glow even in the darkness of the closet, and the light behind him made Kageyama's scowl even more menacing.

He didn't want to die, there were so many things he had yet to do. He hasn't played enough volleyball yet...

"Stop..." Kageyama began to speak, and Hinata made a sound that sounded far too much like the sound of a cat whose tail had been stepped on.

With all the speed of a cornered animal, Shoyo broke out into a full sprint, weaving around Kageyama and escaping.

"-running away from me, dumbass!"

Kageyama was chasing him, and Hinata knew he couldn't run forever, because all his things were still in the clubroom and the idea of Kageyama catching him where there would be no witnesses makes Hinata want to lay down and pray to the gods for forgiveness.

Hinata tripped as he hurried up the stairs, still shouting apologies and about being _too young to die_.

As he leapt to his feet, he narrowly dodged Kageyama swiping at him.

He scrambled into the clubroom, only to cower behind Asahi, who unfortunately happened to be standing there.

" _Dumbass_..." Kageyama gripped the doorway, panting heavily and reminding Hinata of the ghost from a horror movie he had watched at Kenma's recommendation. Hinata squeaked in fear, clinging to Asahi's club jacket like a coward.

Poor Asahi was trembling, his brain unable to process whatever strange fight was beginning between the two first-years that he had been unwillingly dragged into. He just hoped Daichi wouldn't scold _him_ for this.

"Stop hiding behind Asahi and talk to me, idiot!" Kageyama didn’t move any closer to where Hinata was cowering, instead hovering in the doorway.

Slowly, Hinata detached himself from Asahi's jacket and peered around him at Kageyama warily.

He was glaring, but it didn't look quite as scary as it had a moment ago. Instead, it seemed almost like he was _sulking_.

If he weren't scared for his life, Hinata may have laughed at the strange sight.

"You're not gonna strangle me and bury my body where no one will ever find it and I'll become a ghost and have to haunt like.. a rock or something?"

Kageyama _tsk_ ed in annoyance, but his eyes had lost that scary glow, so Hinata figured it was safe.

"What? Dumbass, _no_."

"C-can I leave now?" Asahi was looking between the first years with such a timid pout, that it made them both apologize profusely before sending him on his way.

Then it was just Kageyama and Hinata, and the tension in the room skyrocketed.

Neither had any idea what to say.

Hinata was still angry at him, though he wasn't sure why.Suga claimed he was jealous, but Hinata doesn't really get romance. He's never found any interest in it before now, so what reason would he have to be jealous?

Kageyama had so many things he wanted to say, but his voice failed him. He wanted to yell at him for acting strange, for being so mopey... But he also wanted to know if he was okay. Hinata wasn't acting like his usual self today.

The pair started to change out of their sweaty practice clothes, both using concentrated effort to avoid the others' gaze.

"I'm sorry." Hinata muttered, as he shoved his sweaty clothes into his bag forcefully, and zipping it closed.

He could feel Kageyama's eyes on him, and that caused his cheeks to flush, but he rambled on before his nerves caught up with him.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It wasn't fair of me to project my own problems onto you."

Hinata blew a piece of hair out of his face, keeping his focus on the lewd poster Tanaka had insisted on hanging up to 'commemorate' the start of the season, instead of on a pair of stormy-blue eyes who seemed to be staring intensely at him.

"If you want, you can hit me. Honestly, I've kinda been expecti-"

Shoyo’s ramblings were cut off by something soft getting shoved in his face, muffling his words.

He made a face as his grabbed at the offensive object: _Kageyama's club jacket_.

Shoyo tried not to look too woozy, even though his brain was still somewhere three seconds ago when _Kageyama's jacket was in my face, and it smelled like Kageyama and oh my god did he just give me his jacket?_

"Don't think too hard," Kageyama huffed, picking up his bag as if to leave. "You'll get a fever."

Kageyama started to leave, but turned back to find Hinata standing in the same position, stunned.

"Wear that. It's cold in the mountains at night," Kageyama pursed his lips in a way that made Hinata's heart flutter. "And you're too stupid to wear a coat. Do you want to get sick and miss practice? Dumbass."

Kageyama disappeared after that, leaving Hinata gaping at the empty space in the doorway for a few seconds.

Had Kageyama done something... _nice_ , just then?

Yamaguchi, who had walked in at some point during their conversation, looked like his brain was buffering, his gaze completely lifeless as he stared at the jacket in Hinata's hands.

Suga and Daichi strolled through the door in perfect time to see Hinata drop the jacket to cover his bright red cheeks with his hands, while making an inhuman sound from the back of his throat.

"Is... that-?" Daichi asked, as he noticed the jacket on the floor.

Kageyama had power-walked through them just a moment ago, in nothing but a t-shirt, looking like he was going to be sick. Now it was clear why.

Suga elbowed him, giving him a look that said _not now, you dummy_.

So Daichi cleared his throat, before changing the subject to praising Hinata on a good practice, and telling him to be safe on the way home.

Hinata made polite conversation as he slipped Kageyama's jacket over his own, zipping it all the way up.

The neck of Kageyama's jacket landed at about Hinata's nose, and the jacket itself looked comically large on him, but if the other members noticed that didn't say anything.

Hinata hurried out of the clubroom with a curt _bye_ , physically unable of staying in that room any longer. Not while his head was still spinning from the fact that _Kageyama gave me his jacket!_

At home, Hinata fell asleep swaddled in Kageyama's jacket, and telling himself that _it is totally normal to wear your teammate's club jacket to sleep because you like the way it smells and because it's his and it's definitely not weird_ and Hinata definitely doesn't imagine Kageyama hugging him as he falls asleep. Because that would be weird and would be crossing a line that he definitely shouldn't cross.

—

_Back to the Present,_

"Earth to Shoyo? Anybody home?" He snapped his head up, nearly spilling rice everywhere as he pretended he hadn't just been daydreaming about club jackets.

But now his happy dream had been replaced with his painful reality: They were fighting again, and he was the only one left hurt.

Shoyo sighed, as he picked at his food in front of him.

Everyone else was supposed to be in the middle of individual practice, but Kenma hasn't left his side since the practice matches had ended an hour ago.

Shoyo wishes he was practicing, so he could never understand why Kenma would rather spend his time sitting with him.

Coach Ukai had forbade him from participating in any practice until tomorrow as punishment for attacking his teammate.

Shoyo wasn't an idiot, though, and he knows how much trouble he and Kageyama had caused for the other teams. They were guests here, and they had not only disrupted practice, but they had been childish, immature, and completely disrespectful.

It's a surprise that he hadn't been sent straight home, but it seems the coaches sympathized with the situation, and Takeda had managed to keep Karasuno on the Fukurodani Academy Group's good graces. For the time being, at least.

It's been a long hour of lectures and punishments, but Shoyo can't bring himself to feel anything but the pain in his chest that had been there since Kageyama swore never to set to him again.

He bumped his head against the table, abandoning his food, because now his _stomach hurt_.

No offense to Kenma, but Shoyo was currently wishing he were Kageyama sitting across the table, because he really wanted to talk to him. To ask him if he really _meant_ that. If Hinata meant anything to him, other than just being his (temporary) teammate.

"Can you stop looking at me like you wish I were your boyfriend, it's demeaning."

Hinata lifted his head, his eyes widening in surprise at Kenma's ability to read him like a book, only to slam it back down onto the table, because _he's such a horrible friend_.

"Can you stop acting like that, you're really freaking me out."

Kenma stretched himself out over the table in a way that was extremely cat-like, go figure.

"Hinata Shoyo uses his words. So stop being so cryptic and just tell me what's up."

"I just wish I could go back to a few months ago when I decided to be a complete dumbass and fall for a guy I knew I could never have, and slap past me in the face. And then Kageyama, for good measure." Hinata chuckled dryly, fidgeting with a piece of rice that had fallen onto the table.

He's feeling so restless, and he wants nothing more than to practice, to spike, to do _something_ other than wallowing around in self-pity.

Because all this sitting around only gives his brain full-permission to overwhelm him with thoughts of Kageyama and how embarrassingly one-sided their relationship is.

"Quit it. It's just a fight," Kenma was immersed in his game in front of him as he spoke. "I'm sure you'll be back to sucking each other's faces soon enough."

" _KENMA_!" Hinata squeaked, hiding his face in his hands.

He was so relieved it was only the two of them in the cafeteria. The idea of anyone else hearing that makes him want to jump out the window.

Hinata burrowed into the bright orange Karasuno High hoodie he had received as a gift from Suga for his birthday, sighing. He wrapped his arms around himself in some kind of lonely one-person hug.

"It's not like that." He muttered weakly, trying to ignore the rapid beating of his own heartbeat beneath his arms.

"That didn't stop you from blushing as red as your hair."

"Shut up." Hinata mumbled, burying his face in his hoodie, to hide his blush. "I wish I was practicing right now. I wanna spike." He whined, his fingers twitching as he held them out in front of himself.

"You work too hard. Taking an evening to relax will probably do you some good." Kenma looked up from his game to see Hinata making spiking motions in the air with a disappointed look on his face.

It's clear Hinata had ignored what he'd just said, but this was _Hinata_ they’re talking about here, so Kenma just turned back to his game with a fond smile. "You're hopeless."

—

"Hey. Hinata." Hinata nearly fell out of his chair when he noticed Tsukishima leaning over the table to glare at him. "Don't look at me like that."

Tsukki rolled his eyes, before stepping back. Hinata must have fallen asleep, and Kenma has vanished into thin air. _Great timing_.

"If you've come here to lecture me, I'm really not in the mood." Hinata doesn't look at his teammate, beginning to clean up the remnants of his dinner.

"If you aren't interested in a practice match, fine. I'll find someone else." Tsukki growled, turning on his heels and stomping towards the door.

"What? Tsukki? Wait!" Hinata quickly finished clearing away his dishes in order to run after his teammate.

In a stroke of good fortune, Tsukishima had waited for him just outside the cafeteria.

"This isn't me being nice or anything, so don't be too excited." Tsukki started walking again, at a slower pace so Hinata and his shorter legs could keep up.

Tsukki's behavior was much different than usual, and it was freaking Shoyo out. Usually Tsukki would rather drink bleach than practice with Shoyo, but here he was- not only inviting him to practice, but also seeking him out. 

"But... Coach said-"

"Yamaguchi offered to distract Daichi. He won't find out." Hinata was grateful to his teammates. For cheering him up, even though he didn't deserve it after all he'd put the team through today.

"Thanks."

—

_My face hurts_. Kageyama thought angrily as he ran the towel through his hair, fresh out of the bath.

Hinata had managed to strike him right between his nose and his top lip, which had caused not only a wicked nosebleed, but Kageyama had bit down hard on the inside of his cheek as well. The inside of his mouth was swollen, and he had the beginnings of a swollen lip.

If Kageyama wasn't feeling so broken already, Hinata would be dead where he stood.

Sure, the two of them fight a lot, but he thought there was an unspoken rule that they weren't supposed to hurt each other. If one of them were injured, it would affect volleyball and neither of them wanted that, petty arguments aside.

But after what Kageyama had said, he knows he deserved far worse than a nosebleed and a swollen lip.

Even now, hours after it happened, Kageyama couldn't figure out why he had said that.

It was a _lie_ , first of all. Kageyama would keep tossing to Hinata until the day he dies because he knows how happy it makes him. He would toss to him even if all his fingers were broken or he was blind or hell, even if were on his _deathbed_.

Kageyama also hated seeing that absolutely empty look in Hinata's eyes after he had said it. A look that screamed at Kageyama to _take that back, you heartless bastard._

And he wanted to, the moment after he'd said it, but he couldn't seem to break through the wall that was his own _pride_.

Kageyama's journey to and from the baths felt empty without Hinata's annoyingly large presence- despite his tiny stature- beside him.

Hinata would always insist on telling him the most pointless stories that normally Kageyama would just tune out, but if it was Hinata he always wanted to listen.

He wanted to watch the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, or the way his laugh warms Kageyama from the inside out like pure sunlight.

But the space next to him was noticeably empty, and the world seemed colder without Hinata by his side.

Tobio needed to make it up to Hinata. He wasn't sure if he could survive the next ten minutes without Hinata, much less the next _two years_.

When he stepped into the room where a few of his teammates were setting up the beds, he shivered at the cold stares many of them gave him.

Tobio just put his head down as he slipped on his favorite sweatshirt, the one he wears after a bad day. It is faded and quite old, but he doesn't have the heart to replace it.

He had planned to use this time to search around for Hinata, despite direct orders from Suga to give him space. He was probably worried Kageyama would try to provoke Hinata, but that was the last thing he wanted.

Even if he was pissed Hinata had punched him, he was more angry at himself for making Hinata feel as if he had cause for punching Kageyama.

"Hey, Ennoshita." Kageyama hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but as he had walked out he swore he heard _Hinata, Tsukishima_ , and _practice_ in the same sentence and he stopped in the doorway, the curiosity stilling his feet. "If Daichi asks, Hinata went on a walk with Yamaguchi."

"Even Tsukki feels bad for him? Next thing I know hell's freezing over and pigs are flying." Ennoshita chuckled, but Kageyama had already disappeared down the hall.

The idea of Tsukishima voluntarily offering to practice with Hinata makes Kageyama's blood boil. He's making Kageyama look like the enemy.

_But it's not exactly untrue_. A voice in his head chirped, but Kageyama just pushed that aside and focused on the more important matter: what he wanted to say. Sure, finding Hinata was easy, but standing before him and actually having to put his thoughts into words. It felt impossible.

The journey to the gymnasium felt worlds shorter than normal and suddenly Kageyama was standing outside with absolutely no idea what he was going to say. He's never been good at this.

He wishes he could just make Hinata realize everything, to apologize... Without actually saying anything.

But Kageyama realizes that even he still doesn't understand half of the shit in his own head, so how could Hinata ever understand?

Kageyama stopped his hand that was reaching out for the door handle, as he started regretting this whole plan in the first place. What if he says the wrong thing, what if Hinata already hates him? Kageyama doesn't want to know the answers to those questions.

He sighed, attempting to think this through logically. He needs to keep himself in control.

He can't go wild, he needs to stay calm. One deep breath... followed by another. _Keep your hand steady. Don't look too scary. Don't get angry._

Kageyama opened the door with far too much force than was necessary, nerves taking control of his limbs. The door slammed open with a loud _bang_ that seemed to resonate throughout the mostly empty gymnasium.

The sound pulled four sets of eyes towards the source of the interruption: the doorway where he stood. Those gazes immediately turned suspicious when they saw Kageyama in the doorway.

But Kageyama's stomach leapt into his mouth when he noticed Hinata, collapsed over on the ground, his shoulders shaking as he seemed to be having trouble breathing.

"Hi-" He spoke gently, his body instinctively reaching out towards him.

Hinata's head snapped up, and his broken gaze flicked up to meet Kageyama's ice-blue one. His brown eyes widened in fear, before suddenly Hinata was stumbling to his feet, clutching his right hand as if he were protecting it.

Kageyama noticed it had been taped up, and he wanted to yell at him because if his hand is hurt he won't be able to _play_ and-

But Hinata had started running in the opposite direction, out into the winter night.

Kageyama tried to follow him, but Tsukishima and all his 188 cm of lankiness stepped in his way, blocking his path.

"Haven't you had enough yet, Kageyama?"

Kageyama's expression hardened into a suspicious glare. Tsukishima never calls him by his name: always _King_ or _Your Majesty_ or some variation of that.

Hearing his name from Tsukishima's mouth made him even more angry than King, and he didn't believe that was possible.

"Move."

"You know," Tsukki's gaze did not falter, even as he pretended to think about it. "I don't think I will."

"Tsukki..." Came Bokuto's wary voice from somewhere nearby.

"I'm finding your domineering entitlement especially unbearable today," Tsukki's voice held more malice than Kageyama's ever heard it, and that really pissedhim off. He wasn't allowed to act high and mighty _now_.

Yet there was a part of Kageyama that wanted to cower in fear, because if Tsukishima was intervening, it must be so much worse than he'd imagined. It was the same part of him that had shattered into pieces seeing the terrified look on Hinata's face when he'd met Kageyama's gaze.

"And I know Hinata shares the sentiment."

"That's not-" Bokuto was trying his best to de-escalate the situation, but there wasn't much he could do to stop the two feuding crows.

" _Shut up_."

Kageyama was losing control again, he could feel it. Only a few days ago he would have been unable to think about anything else, but the only thing he could seem to think about was the fact that Hinata was afraid of him.

He was scared of him and Tsukishima of all people is protecting him. That should be Kageyama's job. It should be his job to be by Hinata's side, and keep him smiling.

"Tsukki, let him go." There was stunned silence as Akaashi stepped up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Tsukki looked surprised and a little dumbfounded, but Akaashi just smiled and guided Tsukki back towards the group that had huddled together during the interaction.

Kageyama gave Akaashi a look that he hoped was appreciative, and he nodded slightly. Kageyama broke out into a run, the cold wind of the December evening nipping his skin as he left the warmth of the gymnasium.

Hinata was probably miles away at this point, but Kageyama had no other choice than to search. He would search all night if he had to.

—

At first, the practice match had been just what he needed. It was a beautiful distraction, it kept his brain from spiralling into a dark, dark place Shoyo doesn't know if he would be able to come out of.

He was having a good time with friends, even Tsukishima had started to relax...

But then his hand had started to disobey him. After everything happened, Ukai had forced Hinata to wrap his bruising hand in bandages, as a precaution. Turns out punching someone is way more painful than it looks in movies.

He stopped being able to freely spike with his bandaged hand, and at first it was frustrating. But after the fifth missed toss, the eighth... Hinata was having trouble keeping himself calm.

He had collapsed, panting heavily as he struggled to get his breathing under control, all while his hand felt sore from the overexertion.

He was a failure without Kageyama.

It was in that moment, that the universe decided to materialize the setter in front of him, and Hinata had panicked.

He'd panicked, and _ran_.

Through the snow, despite the cold. Everytime he lost his footing on some ice, he would scramble to his feet and start again.

After five minutes of thoughtless sprinting, he had ended up on what seemed to be the soccer field, and Hinata let himself fall to his knees, the snow soaking through his sweatpants instantly.

Kageyama had made his choice, that much was clear. One look at those eyes and Hinata had his answer. He needed to give it up. He's milked this fantasy for far too long, and it would only wind up hurting even more if he didn’t find a way to end it _now_.

Kageyama is his teammate, and it's time Hinata stopped pretending like he isn't expecting something other than friendship from the setter. 

It's not like he could have become a completely different person in only a few months. Hinata was foolish to think he could have changed him, to think he held some importance to Kageyama other than as a means to victory.

He let his own feelings cloud his vision and made himself believe he was seeing things that weren't there. It was time to wake up. _Take a breath. Collect yourself. Don't let him see you weak._

There was never a chance. There is no room in Kageyama's heart for anything other than volleyball, and this is a fact Shoyo had known since the beginning.

Romance has always been an unknown concept to the genius setter, and it was safe to assume that Kageyama had hardly given love and romance so much as a passing thought.

Hinata opened his eyes, taking in the view around him. It was snowing, and the lights of the school building made the flakes shimmer as they floated to the ground. The whole scene felt almost... peaceful. _Let your surroundings calm you. Be okay._

_My stomach hurts._

He wondered what Kageyama was doing at that moment... Was he still in the gym? Had he given up and gone to sleep?

Each thought plunged deep into his chest like a sharp knife. Hinata wondered if these thoughts really could be the death of him. Dying of a broken heart out in a blizzard... What a cowardly way to go.

Hinata slumped over, every muscle in his upper body tensing against his will because _this_ is the problem. He's supposed to stop thinking about Kageyama.

Shoyo has always felt he was given a somewhat difficult hand in life. He wasn't a genius, and he had no real skills aside from his agility.

He has struggled his way through his volleyball career, but he's never once felt felt regret, or even like his life unfair. It only means he needed to work harder.

Hinata has never been faced with a challenge he hasn't been able to overcome with effort and determination.

_Until Kageyama Tobio_.

His first official game with a six players. It was chance to finally show everyone that he could claw and fight his way to the top... But he lost.

All the practicing, all the hard work and effort, and he still lost to those stoic eyes and that condescending scowl.

Kageyama has always been that one obstacle he never could quite catch up to. Hinata felt like everytime he was close enough to grasp victory, Kageyama shows everyone just how superior he really is.

Hinata never meant to fall in love with him. It had happened practically on accident, like one day he just tripped up and fell for the raven-haired setter. Before he even understood what was happening he was in way too deep and already suffocating.

No matter how hard he tried, how much he improved, he would never be able to force Kageyama to love him. That was the one line he couldn't cross with pure effort.

But giving up on him hurt so bad. Worse than breaking his nose getting hit in the face with a volleyball, and second only to being told he could never play volleyball again.

Hinata wished humans could live without the problematic flesh organ currently pounding in his chest. It seemed to have a mind of its own, it didn't have any sense or sanity and it only caused him problems. It only seemed to know _pain_.

And because the heart is responsible for keeping the entire body functional, it spreads every sensation through his veins until his whole body seemed to yell out _you are so whipped for him, stupid!_

When Hinata opened his eyes again, he was met with the view of tears soaking into the fabric of his sweatpants. How long had he been crying?

This certainly wasn't being _okay_. The sobs were stuck in the back of his throat as Hinata collapsed, letting the tears fall freely. _I can't love him anymore, it hurts too much._

The sooner he gets his emotions out, the sooner he can be okay again. He can't keep getting in his own way. He needed to get to Nationals. Now more than ever.

Hinata was going to be the best teammate. The strongest decoy. The best friend Kageyama has ever seen.

And he would be there when Kageyama eventually falls in love. With some pretty girl, who is sweet and caring and the perfect one for him.

And Hinata would be able to tell him he's happy for him, and it won't be a lie.

But right now, the thought of Kageyama falling in love with someone else makes Hinata physically nauseous as a scream rips its way from his lips. A scream so inhuman and pained even he has a hard time recognizing it as his own voice.

Hinata's hands clutch at the ground, bracing himself as his body trembles with sobs. He curses himself for his incredibly childish reactions, but the sobs don't stop, and even the cold sting of the snow against his hands does little to calm him.

The sound of muffled footsteps in the snow silenced Hinata's sobs, and he immediately straightened, frantically wiping at his eyes.

It was probably Daichi, or maybe one of the other third-years. They must be worried about him, the way he had ran out into the snow and disappeared. He really wasn't ready to be lectured.

"Hinata."

_That definitely wasn't Daichi._

Hinata wondered if it was too late to run. The footsteps had stopped now, and the voice sounded as if it came from right behind him.

But if it was Kageyama, he would catch him before he could get very far. Instead Hinata just turned around, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible.

Kageyama was staring at him with a look of worry and frustration, but there was no anger in his gaze. It was such an unfamiliar look that it only made Hinata want to punch him again. Kageyama isn't supposed to look at him like that.

Tobio was out of breath and he looked exhausted, but that didn't stop him from pulling off his sweatshirt and taking a few steps forward.

"I... Hey wait! Stop!" But Tobio, forever the King, ignored him and suddenly Hinata was being forced into his sweatshirt.

Hinata wasn't even given a seconds warning before he was lifted up into Kageyama's arms.

"Stop!"

Kageyama gave no response as he started running back towards the school building, carrying Hinata like it was nothing.

Shoyo’s body went limp, somewhat of a delayed reaction to Kageyama carrying him. He wanted to fight back, but he was just so _tired_.

"I can walk perfectly fine." He managed to whisper, a last resort that sounded so weak and frail that even Hinata didn't believe it.

"You're going to get sick out here and I know it'll be my fault!" Kageyama screamed back, and Shoyo’s heart stilled.

He slowly brought his gaze up to Kageyama, who was staring straight ahead as he jogged back towards the building.

His face held practically no emotion, but Hinata knew him too well. He noticed instantly that Kageyama jaw was clenched tightly, and his eyebrows were furrowed in a glare that wasn't like his usual ones.

It was a look that was so _tortured_ , it gave Hinata chills. It was so painful to look at, because it was an expression Hinata didn't know the setter was capable of making.

"So... Please," Kageyama muttered, still refusing to look at Hinata in his arms. "Let me do this."

Hinata looked down at his lap, his arms trapped somewhere inside the fabric of Kageyama's sweatshirt, and took a shaky breath. There was no convincing this selfish king.

It was in this moment, letting himself be carried back inside by Kageyama, that Hinata realized just how cold he was.

His whole body was beginning to go numb, and he was shivering like a leaf (although it's debatable whether the cold is the reason for the latter).

Against his better judgment, and even though it made his heart race painfully, Hinata found himself curling into Kageyama's body heat.

But then they were inside, and Tobio was setting him down gently, his arm wrapped securely around his waist. Tobio’s gaze flickered over Hinata and for a brief moment, he froze.

He was so close, he could see every shadow and crease of Hinata's face. He could see his eyes, swollen from crying. He could see his flushed cheeks, his lips which had been bitten raw from stress (a nervous habit he has that Kageyama had picked up on a few weeks ago. Not that he was staring at his lips all the time, it's just _obvious_ ).

Kageyama realized a few moments too late that he was still touching Hinata and he needed to stop _right now_ , so he straightened up, before removing his arm from around Hinata's waist.

Hinata slowly came back to life, as he squirmed beneath the hoodie to slip his arms through the sleeves.

"Are you okay?" Kageyama found himself asking, his voice once again not listening to his brain. "Y... You're not hurt... Or anything?" Hinata just shook his head weakly.

Kageyama winced as he struggled to decide what to say next. This was so much harder than he had imagined, and he had been imagining and re-imagining this scenario for hours. Now that he was living it, all his rational thoughts vanished, leaving Kageyama at a loss.

"Good." He managed to say.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine so it won't affect practice-"

"That's not what I'm worried about!" Hinata flinched at Kageyama's voice, before he realized what it is he'd actually _said_. Kageyama worrying about something not volleyball-related seemed impossible. "You could've died out there, or gotten lost, or..."

Kageyama trailed off, the look crossing Hinata's face stealing the words from his lips. He looked so _lost_ standing there, and lonely.

Tobio’s hand twitched at his side, as if it wanted to instinctively reach out to the orange-haired spiker.

"Everyone's worried about you," Kageyama took a step away from Hinata, clutching his arm to his chest as if it would destroy the urge to touch Hinata that had developed. "So you should probably go to them..."

"What about you?" Kageyama's eyes widened in shock, and that painful look Hinata has decided he hated flicked over his face again.

"What _about_ me?"

Hinata's gaze fell to his feet, because he knew Kageyama was right. He wanted to give up on him so bad, make all the pain go away... But even now, he wanted Kageyama to stop looking so _hurt_. Hinata clicked his tongue, the way Kageyama always did.

"Forget it," Hinata leaned against the nearest wall, grimacing. "It's nothing."

"Like hell it's nothing!" Kageyama snapped, and suddenly he was standing in front of Hinata, an angry look in his eyes. "Be angry at me. Please." Kageyama practically begged, grabbing at Hinata's shoulders, desperation leaking into his movements.

It was silent for a moment, as Kageyama's blue eyes studied Hinata's expression, and when he found no traces of anger, Kageyama could only click his tongue.

The vice-like grip on Hinata's arms only tightened, and he could only watch as Kageyama's face came closer, closer, until it came to rest against his shoulder.

Hinata cursed the way his whole body stiffened at the contact, but the taller boy seemed too preoccupied to notice.

"Stop looking at me like I broke your heart."

Hinata didn't push him away, even as his cheeks flushed against his will, and his stomach flipped in a way that made him feel physically ill.

"I'm sorry." Hinata whispered, his gaze falling to his feet.

"I'm the one who-" Kageyama pulled his head up, only to be met with an incredibly pained expression from the middle blocker.

"I won't ever beat you, will I?" Then Hinata smiled, but there was no warmth behind it, making it look so completely _wrong_ it gave Kageyama chills. "It was so stupid-"

"Shut up!" Kageyama's hands were clutching Hinata's face now, and he still wasn’t used to the softness of Hinata’s skin beneath his fingers. He wanted to keep holding Hinata like this, but Hinata was trying to pull himself free.

"Don't-"

But Kageyama wanted to hold him. He wanted to stay like this. 

Hinata pried Kageyama's hands off of him, his face twisting into something Kageyama couldn't quite read.

In a completely instinctual reaction, Kageyama grabbed the fabric of his sweatshirt Hinata was wearing and pulled him into a tight embrace. Onehe hoped would convey all the feelings he couldn't seem to verbalize.

"Kageyama." Hinata's voice only caused him to tighten his grip, burrowing his face in Hinata's neck.

_Memorize it. Commit it all to memory_. Kageyama took a moment to bask in all that was Hinata Shoyo: his smell, the feeling of his body, _him_.

Kageyama felt like a small child, who was throwing a fit after not getting the thing he wants.

"Let go, _BAKA-yama_!" Hinata shoved him away, before collapsing to his knees.

Hinata was trembling, and even though he was trying to hide it, his face was flushed as red as his hair.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but it isn't funny anymore." Hinata's voice shook as he spoke.

He should have run away. He wasn't sure what sick joke Kageyama was playing on him, but it wasn't funny.

He must know about Shoyo’s feelings, and is trying to get back at him for punching him. And Shoyo was playing right into his hands. This was all he had dreamed of for so long, but not like this. Never like this.

"Hina... I-" The words were right there. He wanted to scream them out, but he couldn't seem to control his own thoughts, and the words would always shrivel up somewhere in his throat, and Kageyama felt like he was _choking_ on them.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Hinata shouted, as he met Kageyama's eyes with a glare that was probably meant to be angry, but instead just looked desperate and sad. "I don't want your pity."

"What are you talking about?" Kageyama was shouting too, his brain's instinctual response to Hinata's provocation.

" _Then you think my feelings are a joke?!_ " Hinata grabbed Kageyama's shirt.

All Kageyama could think as Hinata shouted in his face was what can he do to stop this. They can't do this again. This isn't what he wanted. This is never what he wanted.

"I'm in _love_ with you, dumbass!"

Hinata froze. He was still clutching Kageyama's shirt, and he was still angry, but all the possible words he had wanted to say had dissolved on his tongue. Had he misheard?

Hinata thinks maybe this was his brain playing tricks on him, and that any moment Kageyama would slap him and tell him how stupid he is and how he _could never love someone as useless as you, get out of my sight!_

Hinata's grip on Kageyama's shirt loosened and fell away, bracing himself for the worst. Maybe when he finally gets rejected he can give up and move on.

Then Kageyama shoved him, backwards, and Hinata slipped and fell to the ground. Hinata grunted as his back hit the floor, getting a menacing view of Kageyama kneeling over him.

Hinata shuddered, shutting his eyes tightly as he waited... He wasn't sure what he was expecting, a punch? Insults?

But then there was a pair of intoxicatingly soft lips on his, and all those thoughts went up in brilliant flames. Hinata made a muffled noise as his eyes shot open to confirm that _yes, Kageyama was kissing him. Oh my God Kageyama. Kageyama is kissing him and holy shit this is so much better than he ever imagined it would be._

Kageyama was not good at kissing, and even Hinata, who'd never kissed anyone, knew this. He was sloppy, and it was clear by his movements that he had no idea what he was doing but god damn, Hinata wanted to be kissed by him for the rest of his life. _Volleyball be damned_ (after the shock fades, he would instantly regret this statement because no, Hinata wasn't going to give up volleyball for this idiot with the beautiful blue eyes and the soft lips).

_Hinata wasn't kissing him back_. Kageyama wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't meant to _kiss_ him. But he had somehow accidentally confessed and he couldn't stand the look on Hinata's face like Kageyama had told him he could never play volleyball again.

He needed to do something, and it would seem that the end of that train of thought told him that kissing Hinata was the best possible action.

But Hinata felt like a statue beneath him, and now Tobio was too terrified to open his eyes. He didn't want to see the results of his actions. He didn't want to see the blatant rejection in Hinata's face, and realizing he had monumentally misread the-

The feeling of Hinata's small hands snaking around his head to play with his hair made Tobio inhale sharply, and suddenly Hinata's lips were pressing back with a firmness that made Tobio’s heart skip.

The strange illness that had been plaguing Kageyama for the previous days seemed to explode in his chest, like an uncontrollable wildfire, but he didn't care.

All he could think about was how _happy_ he was in this moment.

Kageyama felt like singing at the top of his lungs, skipping around, and wrapping his arms around Hinata and never letting go. One simple reaction from Hinata had unlocked a flurry of emotions that were new and so incredibly _exciting._

But after the euphoria faded, as Hinata pulled him down by the neck to deepen the kiss, Kageyama was made painfully aware of the fact his face was still swollen. He yelped in pain as Hinata's mouth pressed against his top lip with far more force than was probably necessary.

Balancing on his forearm, with Hinata practically hanging off of him, Kageyama reached up to brush against his lip with a sigh.

Meanwhile, Shoyo wasn't faring much better. This certainly isn't the first time they've been in each others' space like this... As much as he hates to admit it, collisions are still a common occurrence. But this wasn't a collision caused by clumsiness or a failed leap or a flubbed toss. It was _completely deliberate_.

Kageyama didn't realize this, but from Hinata's view,his breathless, flustered expression alone was enough to make the smaller boy swoon. On top of that, the way he was he was touching his lip and wincing reminded Hinata of just how _embarrassing_ this situation was.

Hinata groaned, releasing his grip around Kageyama’s neck to grab his fiercely-darkening cheeks.

"Hinata." The corner of his mouth twitched, the beginning of a smile, as he relished in the sight of Hinata's beautifully flushed face beneath him.

Shoyo spread his fingers the smallest bit to peek up at him, and Kageyama nearly cried on the spot at the way his brown eyes sparkled, the way they do when he plays volleyball. It made him want to kiss him again.

" _I- I love you_." It was so much harder to say the second time. With Hinata looking like _that_ beneath him, without the adrenaline of an argument coursing through his veins. Kageyama looked off to the side, away from Hinata, as embarrassment made his stomach flutter.

Hinata's head was still floating somewhere in the stratosphere, but Kageyama had just said the l-word _twice_ , and now he was looking away from him with the most tragically flustered look on his face that Hinata couldn't control the intense wave of emotion that washed over him, and there were fresh tears slipping down his cheeks.

Kageyama's head snapped back to Hinata, who was smiling brighter than he had ever seen him, but there were tears. _Again_.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear those words, stupid."

Hinata latched onto Kageyama like a sloth, a truly genuine laugh bubbling out of him as he hugged Kageyama tightly. Kageyama found himself smiling too, as he leaned back to sit up straight so he could wrap his arms around the smaller spiker.

"You're freezing, you know." Kageyama huffed, shivering as Hinata nuzzled into Kageyama's neck. "You need to get warm before you really catch a cold."

Kageyama, before he could stop himself, was pressing a kiss to the top of Hinata's head.

"Since you're the idiot that was laying out in the snow."

"Shut up, it's your fault!" Hinata pulled his head back to look at Kageyama, and frowning when he saw the seriousness in his stare.

"Exactly why I'm telling you to go take a bath, dumbass!" Then Kageyama was standing up, Hinata still latched around his torso, and began walking.

"Kageyaaamaaaa-kun." Hinata whined, giggles exploding out of him as he finally let go and started walking alongside him. "You're the worst."

"Just because we kissed once," Kageyama growled, reaching over to pull Hinata's curls. "Doesn't mean you can be annoying."

"Just don't ever leave my side again, and I have no complaints." Hinata mumbled softly, and Kageyama looked over to see his face furrowed in thought.

" _Never_." Kageyama snatched Hinata's hand in his own, squeezing it as he linked their hands together.

They walked like that for a while, and Kageyama had to swallow down the urge to snatch his hand away in embarrassment. He told himself that he was only doing this because he felt bad because of what he'd put Hinata through, but he knew he was lying. Partly, anyway.

"By the way, you owe me ten million apologies." Hinata grinned, his eyes holding that familiar mischievous glint that Kageyama had missed _so_ much. It made him want to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry you're such a dumbass." _Almost._


	5. Lonely King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again! welcome to the ending? epilogue? of liberosis!! this is the end of the main story (but tbh i’m debating writing some other side chapters but we’ll see if that ever actually happens)  
> if you made it this far you deserve a kiss. thank you for reading this completely self-indulgent trope-filled fic <3  
> see you soon(?),  
> kenz (@krsvno)

"This is incredible blackmail material."

The sound of muffled laughter and whispers was quite possibly the worst thing to wake up to. And Kageyama had once been slapped in the face by Hinata while he had been having a dream about volleyball.

Kageyama shifted, and the laughter only grew in volume, making it clear he was the source. He opened his eyes to find the members of Karasuno High School's Volleyball Club staring back at him.

Kageyama winced as a camera flash temporarily blinded him, and he tried to raise his arm to cover his eyes, only to realize it was trapped between himself and an incredibly-clingy orange-haired spiker.

At some point in the middle of the night, Hinata had abandoned his futon and curled into Kageyama's arms. Hinata was currently fast asleep, happily using Kageyama's chest as a pillow, not a care in the world.

It's been a more than a month since the winter Training Camp, and three weeks and two days since they officially started dating. Cuddling was commonplace, especially since Hinata has always been a touchy person, even before they had confessed to each other.

But in front of the team was a line Kageyama was hoping they'd never cross. He instantly shoved Hinata off of him, rubbing his face with his hands to try to prevent the blood rushing to his face (if anything, that only accelerated the flushing).

He threw the first projectile he could find, which happened to be a pillow, at Hinata's head. Leave it to Hinata to do the most irritating thing imaginable, without even being aware of it.

Kageyama hissed under his breath, cursing how warm his cheeks felt beneath his hands. This only increased the laughter at his expense from his teammates. Kageyama made a mental note to _kill_ Hinata later.

"Who knew Kageyama had a soft side?" Tanaka was laughing the loudest, slapping his knees like Kageyama's suffering was the highest form of comedy. Which, in all honesty, it probably was.

Kageyama shot to his feet, ready to snap his neck, but was held back by a smirking Daichi. So Kageyama settled for just glaring, and Tanaka flinched, hiding behind Suga.

"What's goin' on?" Hinata's soft morning voice cut through the laughter, and Kageyama turned to see him sat up, yawning. But that bastard knew _exactly_ what he'd been doing, and the cheeky grin he gave Kageyama made him want to pick him up and throw him through a window.

"You... Me... The- Stupid! Dumbass!" Kageyama, in his overly flustered state, couldn't seem to string together a full sentence, which only seemed to further prolong this nightmare.

"And I would do it again, Tobio-chan." Hinata dodged Kageyama's hand easily, giggling childishly.

The team watched the pair fight, finding the familiarity of it relieving. Despite the fact they were dating, not much has changed between them, but it didn't take much effort to see why. The first-year duo had acted lovey-dovey _long_ before they started dating.

That wasn't to say there weren't differences.

Off the court, the team had to deal with Kageyama's possessive nature surrounding Hinata, which had always been a problem to an extent, but now it had increased tenfold. Oppositely, Hinata seemed to have more energy than ever, and he was difficult to control sometimes. Daichi and Ennoshita really had their hands full with the first-years.

On the court, however, was a different story. Kageyama and Hinata were like two halves of a well-oiled machine: they connect and merge to make a practically unstoppable force. They can practically read each others' minds, and it is downright _terrifying_.

They compliment each other's strengths perfectly, and the team's dynamic has shifted substantially since the training camp. Now they're back in Tokyo, but this time bound for Nationals.

Hinata had been dreaming of this day since grade school, and now that he was finally here- the Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium towering in front of him, he was practically vibrating with anticipation.

"Oi, calm down." Kageyama planted his hands firmly on Hinata's shoulders, to physically put a stop to the shaking. Hinata smiled down at his hands, eagerly awaiting the game ahead, before looking back up at Kageyama.

"Awe, are you nervous Kageyama-kuuun?" Hinata smirked as he noticed Kageyama's stiff posture.

"Shut up, dumbass." He growled, pinching Hinata's shoulder.

"Ouch, stop it." Hinata whined, and Kageyama clicked his tongue but obeyed.

"Look what we have here," Hinata looked away from Kageyama to see Kuroo walking up to them, followed by the rest of the Nekoma Volleyball Club. "It seems we've found the country bumpkin crows."

Kageyama instinctively stepped away from Hinata, letting his arms fall from his shoulders. It was a habit they had both developed when they were in public.

It had taken them nearly a week to tell the rest of their team of their relationship, and understandably, they had _concerns_.

Hinata had had them as well, and Kageyama didn't blame them in the slightest. In all honesty, Hinata was far too good for him, and he didn't deserve his feelings to be reciprocated, so Kageyama felt blessed Hinata wanted to be around him at _all_.

There were quite a few rules put on their relationship by the team, but the most heavily enforced after _if you hurt him again, we will kill you and make sure no one ever finds your body_ , was _keep your relationship a secret_.

They both hated the rule, but neither wanted to go against Daichi, so they begrudgingly pretend like nothing between them has changed the moment someone from outside their team is within earshot.

"Did you see the real Skytree?" Hinata grinned happily, but before he could respond, Daichi stepped up to greet Kuroo. Hinata deflated, clearly being ignored.

"Shoyo!" Kenma stepped up to him, looking as nonchalant as he could. Hinata smiled warmly, waving.

"We beat Shiratorizawa, so you better win today!" Hinata tried to straighten up, as he challenged the aloof setter.

Kenma's mouth turned up into the smallest smile, and he nodded. The pair chatted happily about being at Nationals and their meals the night before and Kenma talked about a new game he had bought specifically for this weekend.

Kageyama knew he had absolutely no reason to be jealous, but the longer he watched his tiny boyfriend smile at Nekoma's setter, the harder he bit down on his tongue to keep from saying something stupid.

He wanted to stomp over there, wrap his arms around Hinata and scare off the small cat, but that was breaking the rules and he knows it. So he waited patiently, only half-listening to Hinata's conversation.

After what felt like an eternity, Nekoma said their goodbyes and headed off to the buses to make it to their practice time. As Kenma took his usual seat next to Kuroo, he sighed.

"Kenma? Is something up?" Kuroo bumped him with his shoulder. Kenma just looked up at him briefly, before pulling out his phone.

"They're definitely dating now." He responded coolly.

"Eh?!" Kuroo shouted, drawing the attention of his teammates. "They didn't look any different to me?" He leaned in, lowering his voice.

"Oh really? Kageyama looked like he was going to skin me alive."

Kenma hadn't imagined the change between the weirdo-duo.

Kageyama had physically moved away from Hinata when they realized someone was watching, and the violent aura he had noticed from Kageyama during his conversation was enough to make even _himself_ flinch. Something had changed between Karasuno's first-year duo, that much was obvious.

"He's just competitive. You should be honored he considers you a rival."

"Yeah." Kenma relented, but he felt a smile spreading over his face.

The real reason, he had noticed from the moment he had laid eyes on Hinata. Kenma, in the time he's known Karasuno's decoy, has never seen him look as happy as he seemed just now.

Hinata's eyes seemed lighter, his smile wider and completely genuine. There wasn't the usual sadness Kenma had gotten so used to seeing. So Kenma knew he wasn't imagining things.

—

"Why do you let him call you that?" Kageyama huffed as they began to warm up with stretches.

"Because he isn't an idiot like you, baka-yama~" Hinata met Kageyama's jealous glare with an innocent smile, as he started to stretch out his legs.

"Don't forget to drink lots of water, you two." Suga smiled as he followed Daichi off into the crowd of people. Hinata just smiled, switching legs.

" _I'll kill you_." Kageyama hissed, irritated that his tiny boyfriend was acting so high and mighty.

The worst part was that Kageyama liked this side of Hinata. The kind that wasn't afraid of confronting anyone. Sure, he was a scaredy-cat most of the time, but it was his bravery that had caught Kageyama's attention from their first meeting back in junior high.

- _What have you been doing these past three years?_ -

Kageyama had said that. In that match, he may have let his shock of letting someone with so little technical experience intimidate him. It made him defensive and afraid. He was always that way around anything he didn't understand.

Hinata was an unknown hurricane that swept through the Inter-Middle Preliminaries and even though Kageyama had won that match, part of him felt like he had lost.

The players of Kitagawa Daiichi couldn't hit his tosses (or maybe just didn't want to), but Hinata was able and willing to hit any toss sent his way. And knowing that fact never failed to make Kageyama's heart beat faster. He really was the perfect partner.

 _Control_.

Control is vital to victory in volleyball. Controlling the court, the momentum, the players. All of that is necessary in order to be strong.

Kageyama liked to imagine his life in terms of a volleyball being passed on the court. For most of his life, he had worked diligently to make sure his life was pristinely perfect in every way, like the ideal toss. He kept a brutal routine, he put all his time and energy into volleyball and everything else was considered irrelevant and therefore discarded.

But his life is different now.

Kageyama still puts all his time and effort into volleyball, but his life could be thought of as a toss with more of an indirect delivery. It still arrives at the same point with precision, but its journey is slower, its trajectory relaxed, allowing time for the spiker to make decisions in midair.

Kageyama is not a lonely king anymore, and he realizes that once the ball leaves his hands, it's out of his control.

"You really are nervous, huh, King?" Tobio snapped out of his trance, looking up to find all of his teammates gone, except Hinata, who had shifted closer until he leaned against Tobio’s side.

Hinata was looking up at him with such a soft, teasing expression that any insults that had been brewing in his mind vanished, leaving him utterly speechless.

"We promised we'd play on the same stage one day, so this is just another step towards our goal." Hinata said coolly, leaning his head on Kageyama's shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"What are you saying? Dumbass-" Kageyama turned his head away so quickly it's a wonder he didn't snap his neck, as his cheeks flushed pink. "And why do you do that like it's natural?" Kageyama pushed Hinata off him, and Hinata chuckled affectionately at the taller boy.

The feeling of Hinata's fingertips as they brushed against his skin is a feeling that Tobio may never get used to. It sends electric shocks through every nerve in his body, and his head goes all woozy.

Hinata turned Tobio's head towards him, his smile growing at the sight of Tobio's rapidly darkening cheeks. Hinata shifted his weight so he could reach Kageyama's lips with his own.

"You're so shy, Kageyama-kun." He whispered against his lips, before Kageyama leaned down to connect their lips together in a quick kiss before pulling away before anyone caught them.

Whenever Hinata is near him, Kageyama can't seem to control himself. His thoughts get all jumbled, his heart goes _whoosh_ , and he gets so restless he can hardly breathe.

Hinata was Kageyama's worst nightmare, in such an innocent, tiny form. But you know what they say about fears: once you face them head on, you realize _they never really were all that scary in the first place._

Instead of wanting to fight to be the one in control of everything, now Kageyama found himself wanting to fight for something else.

Because there was something even scarier than Hinata Shouyo in his life, and that's if he _wasn't_ in his life.

All of a sudden, Kageyama found himself wanting to treasure Hinata- in his friendship, partnership, and relationship, far more than he wanted to bring control back to his life.

If it meant Hinata would stay by his side forever, Kageyama wouldn't mind a little extra chaos every once in a while.

—

Nationals were in full swing, and Kageyama has never felt more in touch with his senses, with his focus. It's truly an incredible feeling.

And it's all due to Hinata's seemingly unending excitement to play. He was like a vacuum of positive vibes that was impossible to avoid. He sucked in others and raised their spirits in a way no one else can. His smile is truly contagious.

Karasuno had managed to survive to the second day of the tournament, meaning they now had to beat the infamous Inarizaki Academy in order to continue on their path of facing Nekoma.

Kageyama and Hinata were running passing drills court-side as part of their warmup.

Hinata wasn't thinking about the passing in front of him though, he was thinking about that Little Giant- _Hoshiumi Korai_. He was thinking about his jump, his skill, his technique... All of the things Hinata didn't have.

The thought didn't discourage him like he thought it would though, instead, it made him want to work harder. Hinata wanted to face the Little Giant. He wanted to face him and _win_.

Hinata was grinning like an idiot when he took Kageyama's pass straight to the face.

"Hinata, you dumbass!" Kageyama shouted, to which Hinata only smiled to himself, clearly not listening.

"You look like yer raring to go." Kageyama turned to see Miya Atsumu standing behind him, wearing a smile that definitely wasn't as innocent as it looked.

"Hi." Kageyama greeted him, more out of formality than friendship. He still hadn't quite forgiven him for his 'goody-two-shoes' comment from the Training Camp a few weeks earlier.

"How're ya doing, Tobio-kun?" Kageyama felt a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips at the way Hinata twitched with jealousy as Atsumu referred to Kageyama with his given name. _Cute_.

"Do yer best out there today," Atsumu continued, the same deceiving smile on his face. "I absolutely hate playing against people who suck." Atsumu switched his gaze from Kageyama to Hinata as he spoke, and he watched Hinata's face contort with anger, but he knew Hinata was far too afraid to actually confront Atsumu.

Kageyama knew this would be the perfect moment to defend his boyfriend's honor, but he'd never been that type.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Why are you apologizing?! Kageyama, you jerk!" Hinata shouted, practically vibrating with anger.

"But I don't suck." Kageyama turned his focus away from his angry boyfriend back to Atsumu, his gaze as overconfident as ever.

"Yes, I'm very aware of that."

"Though he sucks." Atsumu gave Kageyama a knowing look, one that seemed to agree with his words. Kageyama didn't like that.

Sure, _Kageyama_ could say Hinata was bad, and his actions would probably prove that. But no one, champion or otherwise, was allowed to underestimate Hinata, not while Kageyama was around.

"But he's not weak. so I think we'll be okay." There was a moment of tension between the two setters, hidden behind the guise of harmless competitiveness.

Hinata knew better. The way Kageyama was glaring at the twin (which one was he again?), he could practically see the unspoken threat of _don't you dare underestimate us, i'll rip you to shreds._ Or something.

"Tobio-kun, did you mean what you said?" Hinata waited until after Atsumu was called away by his team to speak. He was hopping up and down, looking far too excited even though what Tobio had said could hardly be considered a compliment.

"No." Kageyama immediately refused, but Hinata's smile only grew.

"You've always been a horrible liar." Hinata patted Kageyama's shoulder, letting it linger slightly longer than necessary, before jogging to join the rest of the team who were putting on their uniforms.

The air on the court is always different. It feels like a completely different world once you cross that line. Every inch of that court seems to buzz with nervous energy, and the desire to win envelopes you the moment you enter.

Karasuno is still considered a fallen champion, despite the fact they had made it this far, all the way to Nationals. It seemed the whole stadium was cheering for Inarizaki, but that had never bothered Kageyama before.

He was standing on the end line, facing Inarizaki's lineup on the opposite side, and he felt oddly confident. He believed they would win. They had to, or all the work they had painstakingly done would be for naught.

Kageyama went through the motions, bowing politely to their opponent, greeting them.He was up first to serve, and he knew he was too caught up in his own thoughts and that could negatively affect his performance. It's this kind of thinking that leads to a missed serve.

As the rest of the team took their places on the court, Hinata stayed by the end line, sending a silent message with his presence:

- _I'm here!_ -

Kageyama stared at the fiery-haired volleyball idiot standing next to him, and he felt a smile tugging at his lips. Just his mere presence calmed his racing thoughts.

Kageyama is a fearsome king. He rules over the court with an iron fist. He is ruthless and cold as ice.

But Kageyama isn't the only king on the court anymore. He has incredibly unique and talented teammates who believe in his tosses.

And he has Hinata- the clumsy, stamina monster who has leaped his way into Kageyama's heart.

Kageyama pulled Hinata into a chokehold, wrapping his arm around his neck and ruffling his hair. He tried to ignore the stares he received from not only the opponent but also his own team, because he was too happy to be playing the _game_ he loves with the _person_ he loves.

"Let's win this." Kageyama says, as the volleyball was passed to him by Daichi.

Hinata grinned, and Kageyama swore it was more dazzling than the sun itself.

"Let's!"


End file.
